Dreamer Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 well...it's true! my ex and i spent five and a half years together and last week he broke up with me. we have had a pretty rocky last year and we were going to try again until he took off with an ex girlfriend to vegas. they both claim that nothing is happening, but he was really pissed that i got mad. see...friday (4th) and sat. (5th) he and i were doing great. we were talking about working on our relationship and making things better within the next few weeks. then sunday/monday (6th &7th) he takes off w/ her. i was upset because we were suppose to go to vegas together for his first time. instead he took her, her baby from another man, and her little bro. he was so pissed that i was upset...we aren't speaking anymore. my family and his mother tell me to wait because it's just a phase ( the "i'm-mad-at-the-world/i-can-do-whatever-i-want" ). for 5 1/2 yrs. i have stood by him thru thick and thin, yet according to him, i'm the one in the wrong. help me understand men...what should i do??? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 You agreed with your guy to work on your relationship and a day or so later he takes off with an ex girl friend, her baby from another man and her little brother and goes to Vegas...a place the two of you were supposed to go for his first time there. And you want to know what you should do? Do you realize what he did? Yeah, right, nothing's happening. And the President did not have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky!!! Unless you really enjoy men who are severely emotionally abusive, susceptible to sudden major moodswings, and who jet off with their ex to Vegas at a moment's notice, I would hope you would be considering splitsville. This guy has absolutely no respect or consideration for you whatsoever. Space and time here do not permit me to explain men to you as you requested...but I can explain this particular one. He is a fully certified first class jerk. Dust him!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 Is there more to the story? It sounds like a scene from The Great Escape... Unless he's just uncommonly cruel and immature, it makes me wonder if he hadn't been trying to get away for some time... Did something make him feel obligated to stay that finally just drove him away? What would he say - - WHY would he tell us that you were in the wrong? (Not trying to defend him but this just strikes me oddly. Any more we should know before giving advice?) Link to post Share on other sites
the infamous Emps Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 yes there is more to the story. you should know that I am very attractive, and I own a goldfish named Wardly. And a dog named Goose who has a puppy named Cabin Fever. What am I talking about? Ok, now give advice. paz, Emps My Umi says shine your light on the world. Shine your light for the world to see. Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamer Posted August 17, 2000 Share Posted August 17, 2000 Most of the girls that are his friends are ex girlfriends. Therefore, if he goes out with them, they are just his friends. I trusted and respected that. Anyway, his story is that she needs help from him. Anyone that needs help, they go to him. According to him, I do not need any help. I am stable in my job, I own my own vehicle, I own a house, and I don't have any kids. He states that I just need him for myself. He seems to base his priorities on who needs him more. I just need him as my companion, my best friend. Am I wrong for that? Yeah I flew off the handle when I found out about Vegas. I was a little upset when he would see her, or any of his ex girlfriends, but I accepted it because of friendship and they weren't in another state. This was different - a totally different state! Here's the add-on to my story. Is there more to the story? It sounds like a scene from The Great Escape... Unless he's just uncommonly cruel and immature, it makes me wonder if he hadn't been trying to get away for some time... Did something make him feel obligated to stay that finally just drove him away? What would he say - - WHY would he tell us that you were in the wrong? (Not trying to defend him but this just strikes me oddly. Any more we should know before giving advice?) Link to post Share on other sites
Elmer Posted August 17, 2000 Share Posted August 17, 2000 Hey Dreamer, finishing a long term relationship is hard...I've just concluded a 5 year relationship with my GF. But once you've got used to the idea that it's not YOU, you may find someone so suited to you that you never even realized what you were missing before. I've taken Tony's (and other's) advice, and just allowed myself to find out what sort of people are out there, and am now (4 weeks after) completely besotted with a beautiful girl. Don't put up with second best. All the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted August 17, 2000 Share Posted August 17, 2000 Dreamer, Thanks for the answer. No, you're not being unreasonable. You sound like a kind level-headed woman. I'm wondering if you first entered the relationship at a time you felt weak or vulnerable? Some men have kind hearts that mistake feeling needed as feeling loved. They tend to be attracted to weaker, needy women. They're usually very kind men but the problem is that once the neediness is gone, so is the "love" feeling. I wouldn't blame you for moving out on your boyfriend but believe it would help you both to talk through this. Place some boundaries on this unacceptable behavior and teach him that his actions come at a price. Perhaps you can both grow through this experience: you, by learning to calmly assert your expectations and he by learning to respect (and perhaps love) a strong, responsible, self-reliant lady. Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted August 17, 2000 Share Posted August 17, 2000 My advice: Listen to your Umi and let that light shine... A dog named "Goose"? Sorry to hear that Jenny had the Drescher laugh going on... that would drive a person crazy, wouldn't it! I'd be afraid to kiss someone like that too in case the laugh turned contagious... Do you watch tv? There was an Ally McBeal episode a couple weeks ago about a date with a drop-dead gorgeous fellow who had the most awful snorting laugh... she dropped him too. Good luck finding a Jenny with a cute smile and laugh. Taressa Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamer Posted August 19, 2000 Share Posted August 19, 2000 who's Umi? and what's Emps? a little new to this all so help me out here if you can. Have a good weekend! Dreamer yes there is more to the story. you should know that I am very attractive, and I own a goldfish named Wardly. And a dog named Goose who has a puppy named Cabin Fever. What am I talking about? Ok, now give advice. paz, Emps My Umi says shine your light on the world. Shine your light for the world to see. Link to post Share on other sites
mon Posted August 19, 2000 Share Posted August 19, 2000 I know how you feel 100%, my ex-bf of 4.5 years did almost the same to me. You are a better person than you think and there is someone else out there for you that will treat you the way you deserve!!! Be alone for a while, get through the pain, and have fun--- lifes too short not to enjoy it. Good luck!!!! mon Hey Dreamer, finishing a long term relationship is hard...I've just concluded a 5 year relationship with my GF. But once you've got used to the idea that it's not YOU, you may find someone so suited to you that you never even realized what you were missing before. I've taken Tony's (and other's) advice, and just allowed myself to find out what sort of people are out there, and am now (4 weeks after) completely besotted with a beautiful girl. Don't put up with second best. All the best. Link to post Share on other sites
the infamous Emps Posted August 19, 2000 Share Posted August 19, 2000 Umi means father (or mother, I forgot) in some african dialect I actually heard it on a song called "Umi Says" by MosDef, you should check it out. Emps is me, Emps is my name...my graffiti name. when i say "paz, emps" thats my closing. I hope I cleared it up for you. peace, and be safe. paz, emps my words spill over sonic terrain Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamer Posted August 20, 2000 Share Posted August 20, 2000 Nevermind what I typed up there. I didn't read your response before I asked for your help. You were a step ahead of me! Someone's lookin' out for me, I guess. Thank you mon!! I am hurting. I hide it well, but someone tonight made me realize how sad I really am. I just met this guy named Bobby and when he looked at me, his words were "you're sad...don't be sad...smile". It sucked because he knew right off the bat. Anyway - thank you. If I need to say more, can I ask you? Dreamer I know how you feel 100%, my ex-bf of 4.5 years did almost the same to me. You are a better person than you think and there is someone else out there for you that will treat you the way you deserve!!! Be alone for a while, get through the pain, and have fun--- lifes too short not to enjoy it. Good luck!!!! mon Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamer Posted August 20, 2000 Share Posted August 20, 2000 I figured the closing part - I just wasn't sure on Emps. That's cool!! Thanks for your insight. I hate going through this though. I hate pain! Someday I'll feel happy again! Everyone lately has been saying that I'll find someone suited for me. Everyone says that maybe I'll find someone soon. But I don't want anyone. I want to be alone for a long time. Is it natural to close up? Anyway, I had a pretty good night tonight - so I won't spoil my mood. Thanks Emps! Dreamer Umi means father (or mother, I forgot) in some african dialect I actually heard it on a song called "Umi Says" by MosDef, you should check it out. Emps is me, Emps is my name...my graffiti name. when i say "paz, emps" thats my closing. I hope I cleared it up for you. peace, and be safe. paz, emps my words spill over sonic terrain Link to post Share on other sites
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