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Sex with married women


Archive A collection of the original messages posted on LoveShack.org's LoveTalk Forum from 1997-2001.

Old 11th October 1999, 6:33 PM   #1
Tom
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Sex with married women

I am a 22 year old guy living in the suburbs. I thought the suburbs would be the dullest place for a single guy to live. However, after moving out here, I have discovered that having sex with married suburban women in their late 30s or so to be very exciting. Even though they are older, I find them to be much more passionate lovers then single girls my age. Since I'm not ready for any long term commitment, I prefer someone who is already committed to someone else. It seems that for the most part, these women still love their husbands and have been faithful, but they have built up some desires that they want to act on. I find tapping in on these desires and gratifying them to be much more exciting then I ever thought it would be. I have to admit, there is also something exciting about having sex with another man's wife.

A girl friend of mine says I'm wrong in what I'm doing and she claims I'm just trying to see how many wives I can use. She says that I could get any girl I wanted and I should pursue a healthy relationship with someone my own age. She says I should leave the married ones alone. Is it wrong? I enjoy it, these women enjoy it and their husbands will never know.
 
Old 11th October 1999, 7:41 PM   #2
Excelsior
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Re: Sex with married women

Quote:
A girl friend of mine says I'm wrong in what I'm doing and she claims I'm just trying to see how many wives I can use. She says that I could get any girl I wanted and I should pursue a healthy relationship with someone my own age. She says I should leave the married ones alone. Is it wrong? I enjoy it, these women enjoy it and their husbands will never know.
Tom,

I'll start by answering your ultimate question. You asked, Is it wrong? Pure and simple, yes it is. In your post you addressed two of the parties involved in these affairs. You involved yourself, and you think you are benefiting. You involved the wives, and you think that they are benefiting as well. But you forgot about the husbands. Whether they know or not, you are still hurting them. If these women really do have built up sexual desires, that is something they need to work out with their husbands. No matter how you try and rationalize it, you're *not* the personal sex therapist of these women. By entering into this relationship and usurping the sexual role of the husband you're preventing their relationship from growing. And here's the most important question of all, that you must ask yourself honestly...no rationalizing

How would you feel as one of the husbands if you found out? You see, right now you might be young and hornier than a death row inmate in solitary confinement and you could care less about some hapless husband, but some day you'll be middle aged too. And you might be surprised at how you feel if you come home one day and find your "upper 30s" wife getting it on to take care of some of her excess "desires." Somehow I don't think your attitude will be as casual as it is now.

One final note...Even if the husbands never find out...you are still hurting them because when you're in a committed relationship that has been compromised, things change...suddenly it's not the way it used to be....and he's left scratching his head, while you have the time of your life with his wife.

Come on Tom, think about it...you wouldn't have posted if you didn't know there was something wrong...

Here's to making the right decision,

Excelsior
 
Old 12th October 1999, 2:32 AM   #3
Tom
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Re: Sex with married women

I would imagine I would feel pretty angry if I found out my wife was having sex with someone else. That is why I'm very carefull to keep it secret. I would not want to place either myself or any of these women in a position of facing an angry husband.

Do you really think that one or two sexual encounters with a women could really have an effect on their relationship to their husband? Even if the couple have been together for years?

Do you feel it's always wrong to have sex with a married women?

To be honest, I was more concern that I could get one of these women pregnant. My girl friend says a women can get pregnant up to the age of 40 or more. This does concern me.

Quote:
Tom, I'll start by answering your ultimate question. You asked, Is it wrong? Pure and simple, yes it is. In your post you addressed two of the parties involved in these affairs. You involved yourself, and you think you are benefiting. You involved the wives, and you think that they are benefiting as well. But you forgot about the husbands. Whether they know or not, you are still hurting them. If these women really do have built up sexual desires, that is something they need to work out with their husbands. No matter how you try and rationalize it, you're *not* the personal sex therapist of these women. By entering into this relationship and usurping the sexual role of the husband you're preventing their relationship from growing. And here's the most important question of all, that you must ask yourself honestly...no rationalizing How would you feel as one of the husbands if you found out? You see, right now you might be young and hornier than a death row inmate in solitary confinement and you could care less about some hapless husband, but some day you'll be middle aged too. And you might be surprised at how you feel if you come home one day and find your "upper 30s" wife getting it on to take care of some of her excess "desires." Somehow I don't think your attitude will be as casual as it is now. One final note...Even if the husbands never find out...you are still hurting them because when you're in a committed relationship that has been compromised, things change...suddenly it's not the way it used to be....and he's left scratching his head, while you have the time of your life with his wife. Come on Tom, think about it...you wouldn't have posted if you didn't know there was something wrong... Here's to making the right decision, Excelsior
 
Old 12th October 1999, 10:55 AM   #4
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Join Date: Oct 1999
Posts: 136
Re: Sex with married women

Have you ever heard of Karma? It's a force that is generated by a person's actions. In otherwords, when you wrong someone, it comes back at you 3 times worse (or 10 in some cases). Here's an example.

One day you'll be married to the woman of your dreams. You'll be a distinguished, yet aged older man. You'll have 2 or 3 children, a dog, and a beautiful home. One day, you decide to come home from work a little earlier than expected, as you open the front door, you hear moans coming from your bedroom. You climb the stairs and open the door, and low and behold, your wife is in bed with the gorgeous 22 yr old paperboy/aspiring model who lives down the street. Then another day, it will be the gardener or the milkman or the mailman, and then you'll look at your kids and realize "Oh my God, they don't even look like me!"

I wouldn't want to be you.
Totally Confused is offline  
Old 16th October 1999, 9:56 AM   #5
Thirty Something
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Re: Sex with married women

I think each individual's situation is different, and I also don't think anyone can issue a blanket judgement. We all need to find our own truths and our own way.

I'm wondering though how you're going to feel when you fall in love with one of these women (and you will,it's inevitable) and can't have her because she doesn't want to leave her husband? You say you're not ready for a long term commitment, however, no one ever plans when this will happen. You will end up getting hurt; not them.

Be careful naive one; they're just playing with you!
Quote:
I am a 22 year old guy living in the suburbs. I thought the suburbs would be the dullest place for a single guy to live. However, after moving out here, I have discovered that having sex with married suburban women in their late 30s or so to be very exciting. Even though they are older, I find them to be much more passionate lovers then single girls my age. Since I'm not ready for any long term commitment, I prefer someone who is already committed to someone else. It seems that for the most part, these women still love their husbands and have been faithful, but they have built up some desires that they want to act on. I find tapping in on these desires and gratifying them to be much more exciting then I ever thought it would be. I have to admit, there is also something exciting about having sex with another man's wife.

A girl friend of mine says I'm wrong in what I'm doing and she claims I'm just trying to see how many wives I can use. She says that I could get any girl I wanted and I should pursue a healthy relationship with someone my own age. She says I should leave the married ones alone. Is it wrong? I enjoy it, these women enjoy it and their husbands will never know.
 
Old 19th October 1999, 1:14 AM   #6
Tom
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Re: Sex with married women

I find what you say has truth. There is now a women who I pursue but I can not catch. She toys with me, but does not let me have her. The more I think of her, the more I desire her. Thoughts of lust and love become confussed in my mind as I think with envy of this women's husband. Why does this bother me so?
Quote:
I think each individual's situation is different, and I also don't think anyone can issue a blanket judgement. We all need to find our own truths and our own way. I'm wondering though how you're going to feel when you fall in love with one of these women (and you will,it's inevitable) and can't have her because she doesn't want to leave her husband? You say you're not ready for a long term commitment, however, no one ever plans when this will happen. You will end up getting hurt; not them. Be careful naive one; they're just playing with you!
 
Old 19th October 1999, 11:39 PM   #7
Thirty Something
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Re: Sex with married women

I don't know why it bothers you. Since you said previously that you are not interested in a long term commitment, I assume it bothers you only because you can't have her and the chase isn't going the way you want it to. You're probably the only one that can figure this one out.

I think you're using the word "love" a little loosely; I'm not sure that's a factor in your relationships. Let's just assume it's lust for the time being.

How do you know she is toying with you? Do you know her, or do you just see her around? Does she know you want her, or does she think you're just flirting? Does she know what you want her for? In what way are you pursuing her? Do you know her husband? Maybe she just doesn't have affairs; why do you think she might? Have you ever talked to her, or is this just flirting at this point?

You don't really need to answer all these questions; I am curious now, but really just wanted to give you some stuff to think about! If you don't respond, good luck on figuring out what you want!
Quote:
I find what you say has truth. There is now a women who I pursue but I can not catch. She toys with me, but does not let me have her. The more I think of her, the more I desire her. Thoughts of lust and love become confussed in my mind as I think with envy of this women's husband. Why does this bother me so?
 
Old 20th October 1999, 3:00 AM   #8
happy girl
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Re: Sex with married women

Doesn't it gross you out when you are having sex /w/ these woman, to know that they are also having sex with their husband (and who knows who else)? You said you're worried about getting them pregnant? Don't you use protection?
Quote:
I am a 22 year old guy living in the suburbs. I thought the suburbs would be the dullest place for a single guy to live. However, after moving out here, I have discovered that having sex with married suburban women in their late 30s or so to be very exciting. Even though they are older, I find them to be much more passionate lovers then single girls my age. Since I'm not ready for any long term commitment, I prefer someone who is already committed to someone else. It seems that for the most part, these women still love their husbands and have been faithful, but they have built up some desires that they want to act on. I find tapping in on these desires and gratifying them to be much more exciting then I ever thought it would be. I have to admit, there is also something exciting about having sex with another man's wife.

A girl friend of mine says I'm wrong in what I'm doing and she claims I'm just trying to see how many wives I can use. She says that I could get any girl I wanted and I should pursue a healthy relationship with someone my own age. She says I should leave the married ones alone. Is it wrong? I enjoy it, these women enjoy it and their husbands will never know.
 
Old 24th October 1999, 11:15 PM   #9
Tom
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Re: Sex with married women

No I do not use protection. It is against my religion. Besides, there is no true "safe" sex is there, even with protection? No adventure is without risk.
Quote:
Doesn't it gross you out when you are having sex /w/ these woman, to know that they are also having sex with their husband (and who knows who else)? You said you're worried about getting them pregnant? Don't you use protection?
 
Old 24th October 1999, 11:30 PM   #10
Tom
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Re: Sex with married women

I finally got her to respond to me. No I do not know her husband, nor do I care to. I just wanted to know her. Now I do.
Quote:
I don't know why it bothers you. Since you said previously that you are not interested in a long term commitment, I assume it bothers you only because you can't have her and the chase isn't going the way you want it to. You're probably the only one that can figure this one out. I think you're using the word "love" a little loosely; I'm not sure that's a factor in your relationships. Let's just assume it's lust for the time being. How do you know she is toying with you? Do you know her, or do you just see her around? Does she know you want her, or does she think you're just flirting? Does she know what you want her for? In what way are you pursuing her? Do you know her husband? Maybe she just doesn't have affairs; why do you think she might? Have you ever talked to her, or is this just flirting at this point? You don't really need to answer all these questions; I am curious now, but really just wanted to give you some stuff to think about! If you don't respond, good luck on figuring out what you want!
 
Old 25th October 1999, 9:44 AM   #11
Cici
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Re: Sex with married women

Oh Good Lord. How can you possibly say using protectio is against your religion when YOU'RE COMMITTING ADULTERY? HELLO?

I'm sorry. I just can't believe what I'm reading. There's so many conflicting messages. You don't want a long term relationship, now you suddenly have feelings for a woman in a acommitted relationship. You are careful to keep things secret from husbands, now you don't care about them. You have unprotected sex with married women because it's against your religion. Give me a break. Honestly, do you think you won't get HIV? And if protection doesn't work, how do you explain couples where one partner has HIV and the other doesn't? With consistent use of latex condoms, transmission of HIV is prevented.

Consider briefly the husband. You said yourself you would be upset if this happened to you. Not only are you indulging your lust, you're hurting the lives of two other people in the process. That sounds to me like someone who is selfish to the point of having Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

What goes around comes around, sweetheart.
 
 

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