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Little Ms. Fear-Less has become Ms. Fear-Wuss

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Little Ms. Fear-Less has become Ms. Fear-Wuss

I will try to make this as short as possible. I am a 30's-something independent, spontaneous,hardworking, educated, woman. Yet, within two weeks almost. I have turned from Little Ms. Fear-Less to Little Ms. Fear-Wuss, this is the only way I can put it.

 

Recently I celebrated yet another birthday, and was surprised by close friends with a birthday weekend get together of friends and my party on that Fri. night. I was re-introduced by Mika (she gave party) to her cousin which has been an acquiantance for about 6 months to a year. We've always talked and been nice to one another but never really talked one on one until the party. He is as gorgeous as his name sounds (Antonio), he is intelligent, hardworking, has a great sense of humor, and we have alot in common. I did not notice until the Saturday afternoon, that Antonio was always close by talking to me, helping in the kitchen, sitting by me at meals or while playing cards, etc. That Saturday night we were all going into town, and decided to take more than one vehicle, as we were walking out to mine he is standing there with a half dozen red roses, and a card.(Birthday was on Sat. 5th) He gave me a hug, and to my surprise a kiss on my lips nothing over the top just a small but tender kiss. I know I turned red, as did he. He rode with me to the restaurant/club and we had the best time just talking and hanging out dancing, talking to everyone.

 

The problems, my spanish is less that perfect, as is his english, so we are having some difficulties communicating at times. This doesn't seem to bother him, as he'd just get one of our merry party to interpret what one or the other of us couldn't understand, and didn't seem bothered by this.

 

He just said he was continuing his english and college classes and I needed to take a refresher course in Spanish, because there were things he wanted to talk to me about without one of our translators.

 

I just moved 45-50 miles 45mins.-1 hr. away, one way, the area from where he and Mika are in, due to transfer for my job.My family lives in that area still, so I have legitimate reasons for being there on weekends. Neither of us work weekends generally, so my overworked, sleep deprived mind has been thinking of him Alot over the last few weeks. Does it seem completely crazy to think he and I may be on our way to something besides friendship. He mentioned more than once during the weekend about calling him, and about us going to do things here and there but it was nothing definite. He did give me his numbers, and took mine. We have been out to lunch since last Sunday, and he was as ever the gentleman, but I had to get back home, and as he works two jobs he is as busy as me. We parted, but he looked very sad, and puzzled, much like I was. The reason I use puzzled is how did something like this just happen? It was just like WHAM! and now almost two and a half weeks later I am thinking of him too much and don't have a clue what to do or not do! Does this sound completely hopeless, or is there a chance I am not just wishful thinking more into this than just friends??? Apologize for the length.

 

Any advice, suggestions, are welcomed.

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I am assuming you live in the united states. What ever happened to ENGLISH being the primary language? That pisses me off to know you can't go alot of places unless you can understand swishy english or some other language. Alot of people can't even get a job now unless you are fluent in a language (mainly spanish). Alot of people don't even try to learn english anymore. Pathetic. At least this guy is trying. The only problem, how are you two suppose to go on dates (just the two of you) and understand what you're both saying? That's a communication problem especially if you guys do hook up. But you can always go with the flow if you really think this man would make the best relationship for you.

I will try to make this as short as possible. I am a 30's-something independent, spontaneous,hardworking, educated, woman. Yet, within two weeks almost. I have turned from Little Ms. Fear-Less to Little Ms. Fear-Wuss, this is the only way I can put it. Recently I celebrated yet another birthday, and was surprised by close friends with a birthday weekend get together of friends and my party on that Fri. night. I was re-introduced by Mika (she gave party) to her cousin which has been an acquiantance for about 6 months to a year. We've always talked and been nice to one another but never really talked one on one until the party. He is as gorgeous as his name sounds (Antonio), he is intelligent, hardworking, has a great sense of humor, and we have alot in common. I did not notice until the Saturday afternoon, that Antonio was always close by talking to me, helping in the kitchen, sitting by me at meals or while playing cards, etc. That Saturday night we were all going into town, and decided to take more than one vehicle, as we were walking out to mine he is standing there with a half dozen red roses, and a card.(Birthday was on Sat. 5th) He gave me a hug, and to my surprise a kiss on my lips nothing over the top just a small but tender kiss. I know I turned red, as did he. He rode with me to the restaurant/club and we had the best time just talking and hanging out dancing, talking to everyone. The problems, my spanish is less that perfect, as is his english, so we are having some difficulties communicating at times. This doesn't seem to bother him, as he'd just get one of our merry party to interpret what one or the other of us couldn't understand, and didn't seem bothered by this.

 

He just said he was continuing his english and college classes and I needed to take a refresher course in Spanish, because there were things he wanted to talk to me about without one of our translators. I just moved 45-50 miles 45mins.-1 hr. away, one way, the area from where he and Mika are in, due to transfer for my job.My family lives in that area still, so I have legitimate reasons for being there on weekends. Neither of us work weekends generally, so my overworked, sleep deprived mind has been thinking of him Alot over the last few weeks. Does it seem completely crazy to think he and I may be on our way to something besides friendship. He mentioned more than once during the weekend about calling him, and about us going to do things here and there but it was nothing definite. He did give me his numbers, and took mine. We have been out to lunch since last Sunday, and he was as ever the gentleman, but I had to get back home, and as he works two jobs he is as busy as me. We parted, but he looked very sad, and puzzled, much like I was. The reason I use puzzled is how did something like this just happen? It was just like WHAM! and now almost two and a half weeks later I am thinking of him too much and don't have a clue what to do or not do! Does this sound completely hopeless, or is there a chance I am not just wishful thinking more into this than just friends??? Apologize for the length.

 

Any advice, suggestions, are welcomed.

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Hmmm. Sounds to me like you really really find this guy attractive. But you're scared about how powerful those feelings are, and how often you think of him. Do I understand the issue properly?

 

What I think is happening is that you've fallen for a guy's image, and not necessarily the guy.(Though they may well be one and the same). He's of Spanish descent (what country?) , that makes him seem exotic to you. He doesn't speak much English yet, so he can't say much good or bad. He's probably well educated, and as you said handsome. All these qualities are indeed a nice package. However there's something missing from all of it that you may not have thought of yet.

 

His personality! You see regardless of what language you speak, how well educated you are, how good looking you are, doesn't really say much about who you are as a person.Even being a gentleman at first can be a little deceiving because you've seen him on his best behaviour so far. I'm sure you've met your share of successful, good looking men who are unattractive to you. Since he still can't talk English fluently, he still can't show you his views, past, goals in life etc. So there's all this mystery about him. Which is good in a way, but it can also be bad.

 

It's good because there are things about each other you can still discover! But it's bad because a lot of times when you think about someone romantically, and you don't know much about them, you tend to idealize them a bit. People tend to "fill in the blanks" of their love interest's personality with their imagination. And sometimes your imagination goes a little overboard. Your imagination could make this guy seem like Prince Charming/Julio Iglesias/Antonio Banderas all rolled into one. In reality, he might just be a nice guy, who is nowhere near that.

 

So the thing to do is to realize that it's possible you've manufactured a fantasy character based on some nice man's image. Then realize, the nice man is still worth getting to know. And maybe once you've talked with him more, communicated more, you might realize he really is that good! Or maybe you find a worthy friend or at least a few good dates.Or maybe you find some traits in him you don't appreciate and have to lose him fast. Either way, wait till you've gotten to know him A LOT better before you call him MR.Right and start going stir crazy. Until then , keep your head cool, and get some sleep. If this guy works out fine, but if he doesn't there are still other out there who might. :)

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