Tiggi-Anne Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 I don't want people to think anything less of me because of what I do. I am an escort and have been for three years. People think that it is disgusting and sordid but it isn't. Don't get me wrong, I don't wake up absolutley overjoyed to be able to get up and go out and do what I do, but as long it provides a stable environment for my son then that is all I am bothered about......... Until recently that is.... I have fallen in love with a man who I know loves me, he knows everything about me but this. I want to tell him but I don't know how to. Plus, what if it ends and i am left with no job and no money and a four year old son to look after. Don't ask me to go to my family. I am Italian and came over here to get away from them because all they said was 'We want you to do this Tiggi, this is best for you Tiggi!' I know this isn't the best career. I'm not ashamed, just confused about what to do now I think I have found love with a wonderful man.................. You have the right to think the worst of me, but please offer your advice as well............. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 I strongly urge you NOT to discuss your career with this guy. Many men are judgemental to begin with and ever more harshly judgemental when it comes to the sexual activities and past of their partner. What you now do is not really any of his business, except to the extent that you do not expose him to any infectious diseases and I'm sure you use proper hygiene to be in the work you are. I think it is perfectly honest to call yourself a social consultant at this point in time. I think that adequately describes what you do. If your guy wants more information or details, let him know you are a contract consultant to businesses and individuals in travel and activity planning for corporate business trips, which is also being honest. He doesn't need to know any more from there. You are ultimately going to have to make a decision. If this relationship intensifies to a very committed level, you will definitely have to discontinue what you are doing or risk ending the relationship. And if you do decide at a time of weakness to just be honest because he convinces you he can handle honesty...and the two of you decide to have such an open and frank relationship...be prepared to make travel plans for him too. If I had to wager, I would say there is a 97 percent chance that this man would walk away from you, no matter how much he loved you, if he found out at this point or any other that you were an escort. Even if you told him all you do is accompany men to dinner, movies, theatre, etc., he would most probably not believe you. If you had the time, you could scroll down and read discussions in just the last three or four days of men who have left their girls because they found out they had given previous guys oral sex or that they had had multiple partners or had sex in odd places. Many men are really weird when it comes to this stuff and just can't get it out of their mind. It's a real problem and be glad you asked before you came clean with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
catt Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 Tony's advice is bang-on. Best of luck, Tiggi. Link to post Share on other sites
blinker Posted February 9, 2001 Share Posted February 9, 2001 an escort is another name for a prostitute. youre telling her to keep this a secret. worst advice i've ever heard. a relationship based on lies is doomed. the guy will eventually find out one day as the truth always rears its head. she's in a high risk profession when it comes to contracting a whole multitude of diseases. no such thing as true safe sex. how would you feel tony if you found out your gal was an ex hooker? bet you'd be running down to the local clinic for a few blood tests. don't give advice that you wouldn't be willing to accept if you were in the guy's shoes. I strongly urge you NOT to discuss your career with this guy. Many men are judgemental to begin with and ever more harshly judgemental when it comes to the sexual activities and past of their partner. What you now do is not really any of his business, except to the extent that you do not expose him to any infectious diseases and I'm sure you use proper hygiene to be in the work you are. I think it is perfectly honest to call yourself a social consultant at this point in time. I think that adequately describes what you do. If your guy wants more information or details, let him know you are a contract consultant to businesses and individuals in travel and activity planning for corporate business trips, which is also being honest. He doesn't need to know any more from there. You are ultimately going to have to make a decision. If this relationship intensifies to a very committed level, you will definitely have to discontinue what you are doing or risk ending the relationship. And if you do decide at a time of weakness to just be honest because he convinces you he can handle honesty...and the two of you decide to have such an open and frank relationship...be prepared to make travel plans for him too. If I had to wager, I would say there is a 97 percent chance that this man would walk away from you, no matter how much he loved you, if he found out at this point or any other that you were an escort. Even if you told him all you do is accompany men to dinner, movies, theatre, etc., he would most probably not believe you. If you had the time, you could scroll down and read discussions in just the last three or four days of men who have left their girls because they found out they had given previous guys oral sex or that they had had multiple partners or had sex in odd places. Many men are really weird when it comes to this stuff and just can't get it out of their mind. It's a real problem and be glad you asked before you came clean with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted February 9, 2001 Share Posted February 9, 2001 Actually... Every single prostitute and escort I've known personally have been much cleaner and disease-free compared to most of the other people I know. Maybe you should follow your own advice about giving advice or jumping to conclusions on a topic you know little about. ...that being the safety and health precautions that professional escorts and hookers follow. For example, some girls I know...they won't kiss any guy on the lips. They will only perform oral sex with a condom on. They will provide their own condoms. The list goes on. They get certain medication. They get checked regularly. Which is more than I can say about everyone else. How many partners don't kiss on the lips? How many partners use condoms when giving a bj? THey put themselves in riskier situations by not following certain rules that these 'hookers' follow. So it all depends on how serious this girl is about her job and her health and what country/city she lives in. Can't really stereotype them all as being dirty and infected. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 9, 2001 Share Posted February 9, 2001 I stand solidly behind my first post. If you will read it again, in the very second paragraph, I said...and I quote: "What you now do is not really any of his business, except to the extent that you do not expose him to any infectious diseases and I'm sure you use proper hygiene to be in the work you are." Until the relationship gets to a very serious stage, she is not obliged to tell him her business. Furthermore, I do not judge people who are escorts, prositutes or whatever. This woman is doing her best to support her child...which is more than the father is doing. This may be all she knows. I have not walked in her footsteps and I don't know what her limitations or motivations are. She's OK with it and she understands the risks and that's perfectly OK. Frankly, I would much prefer to date an escort than some phoney user and manipulator who takes and takes and gives absolutely nothing in return. There is no more honest relationship than that between prostitute and client. They each know exactly what the deal is all about and they don't have to post questions about it in a love forum. However, I absolutely understand your opinion. It would have been preferable that you gave your opinion to the poster rather than to me. I am not the one with the issue, she is. If you can make a compelling argument for her telling her guy, I'm sure she will take it...so go for it. For the record, I do not condone what escorts do, I find the thought of that lifestyle rather repulsive. But I also find a lot of what other people do just as repulsive. I gave up judging other people for their decisions a long time ago. (Examples upon request). Link to post Share on other sites
Tiggi-Anne Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 Tony, are you online? I really need your help Link to post Share on other sites
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