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What is too old to be a Parent


Parenting Discuss tips, concerns, and all the mayhem involved in raising kids.

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Old 7th December 2017, 7:24 AM   #1
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What is too old to be a Parent

At what age do you think human beings should cut bait and have Tubes tied or a Vasectomy?

I say 60 for men at the latest. If you have never had a kid. most people can make to late 80's these days.

I am 46 I am trying to decide if I should do the V on myself before 50.
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Old 7th December 2017, 8:01 AM   #2
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There are different perspectives on it.

For the parent themselves, I think mid 40s should be the cut off. I had my daughter young and NO WAY would I have done it past 45. It's a young person thing. Plus, remember, baby at 45 means you still have dependent children/uni fees etc at 65.

From the child's perspective, an old parent isn't great either. My much older ex and I had kids of the same age. I'm still living my life, independent and he is beginning to need care. Not great for young adults who haven't got their own kids yet, want to be free to travel etc.
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Old 7th December 2017, 8:05 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
I am 46 I am trying to decide if I should do the V on myself before 50.
no, we need to hear the pitter patter of little mysterio feet
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Old 7th December 2017, 8:52 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale View Post
no, we need to hear the pitter patter of little mysterio feet
I agree!

But seriously, I don't think there's an upper age, people can and should have children whenever if that's what they want. But, there certainly are more things to consider.

Even if you had a child at 40, you'd be in your mid 50's by the time they were teens. I know it can be hard to keep up with a teen in your 30's or 40's, let alone older. I couldn't imagine myself now at 57 with a teenager. The older you are, the slower you are, and the harder it can be do do things and fit it all in.
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Old 7th December 2017, 9:10 AM   #5
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I was 45 when my son was born, my wife was under 40 and here now he is turning 10 on his next B-day I think I can say 45 isn't too late..
I have no problem working 10-12 hrs 5 days a week and keeping up with him.
I am there for him in everything, whether it be coaching/assit coaching his B-Ball team or taking him for hikes in Cub Scouts, being a Den leader for Cub Scouts or taking him to the Dentist for his first cavity...B-ball practice and games.. I have been to them all...

Homework is generally done by the time I get home but I'm there in the Evening to help with that too...
Moving the damn Elf... or buying his first Estes Rocket that he and I will shoot off together.

I tuck him in bed every night, even if it means going back to work for some tight deadline crunch.

It's all in your priorities.. not your age...

I will say though that it is tougher at this age.. and to me 45 would be the age cut off....

It's physically tougher and more demanding but not impossible...

In the morning when I wake him up for breakfast I have always given him a piggy back ride from his bed down the stairs to the table...
I still do that everyday and he weighs 60 pounds now, my knees hurt but I smile every time I do it...

My wife is a SAHM so she picks up on all the things that I don't do and there is tons for sure and I don't know what I would do if I had to raise him by myself since she does all the things I never think of or don't prioritize to do.. I'm not trying to be a Super Dad, just be there for him where my Dad wasn't.

So.. 45 for the guy is my answer

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Old 7th December 2017, 9:19 AM   #6
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60 is way too old to be a parent to an infant, man or woman. Have kids when you're young.
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Old 7th December 2017, 8:56 PM   #7
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Hmmm. Well you don't want to have any regrets no matter what your age is. If you feel the desire to become a dad than don't get a vasectomy.

I think the ideal age to become a parent is anywhere from 25-45. However, people are getting married and having children later. And people are living longer.

You also want time to be with your kids when they grow up. That's why 45 is probably the upper limit.
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Old 7th December 2017, 9:17 PM   #8
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if you both need a diaper you're too old
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Old 7th December 2017, 9:40 PM   #9
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Clint had the last of his brood with Dina Ruiz in 1996 at the age of 66. He was making babies with various spouses and lovers for nearly 40 years.

Myself, I was born to a 43yo father way back in the day. When I was born, his daughters were already adults. Given his health 43 was probably a bit late. Things are a lot different today.

I think with a vigorous younger mother like Clint usually hooked up with, parenting as an older guy wouldn't be too bad, if healthy. My exW and I were trying until I was nearly 50. No luck but no regrets.
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Old 7th December 2017, 9:51 PM   #10
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as long as you are producing sperm, you can father a child and become a parent.

the tricky part is as you get older, it gets harder to raise newborns and toddlers. good god, i could never see myself at my age raising a new born and a toddler again. the lack of sleep. the constant worry and stress and chasing around.

i think also if you are an older guy (or gal) you are kind of set in your ways. you like your this and thats and you like your life just the way you have gotten used to living it. to be a parent requires making a lot of adjustments to that. i don't think older people are going to find that easy to do.

but back to your question of aging and children. my understanding is the average life span is supposed to be 85 (though from personal experience, i am seeing lots of people around me getting very sick or cancer by late 50s and 60s -- so I am starting to suspect the researchers are full of ****)..

but.. lets say you do father a child at 60. if you were to get help with raising the child (at 60s you should have income to be able to afford a live in nanny) and by 70 the kid would be 10. By 75 the kid would be 15 and already pretty much very independent. By 80 the kid would be 20 and in college/university and an adult. its possible to be a parent. but as i said. you would need lots of help at 60 in getting through those first 10 years.

Last edited by jjgitties; 7th December 2017 at 10:06 PM..
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Old 8th December 2017, 2:42 AM   #11
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I want to be clear. I am single. Its not that I want to be a 60 yr old dad. Its just that I wanted others thoughts on it.

I have to look at my age and where I am. My ex wanted to have a kid with me 2 yrs ago. I declined, because I felt we were not gelled as a couple so to bring a child into this world with out that would not be that great for them.

I am a Canadian Black male that is 46 turning 47 in March of 2018. I have to think about whats the best thing for my life.

What I am trying to figure out is what is the cut off age for me and others around my age.

Everyone makes it seem like the older you get. The less energy you have. I work out 5 times a week. I walk a lot. I am not sendentary and I just see myself as active.

My Uncle born in 1933 and passed in 2012 at the age of 79, had all his kids with the same woman, his wife. He was 38 for #1 kid. 40 for #2, 48 for #3 and 52 for #4. His wife was 16 yrs his jr being born in 1949.

In order for me to have a kid now. I would have to meet someone and it go all the way well. Or another woman and I get her pregnant and we are not gelled and have a kid out of wedlock. I don't want that.

I guess I have until 2021 when I turn 50 to make that final decision.
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Old 9th December 2017, 6:10 PM   #12
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Do you want to have a child?

If you do then I would say there's really no age limit. Parenhood is never a smooth sailing and yes, there will be some issues with having a kid older, just as there are issues with having a kid too young. But if you are a healthy individual who's financially and emotionally capable of taking care of a baby - go ahead even after you're 50.
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Old 9th December 2017, 6:17 PM   #13
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Before bringing lifestyle into the discussion, I would suggest you research birth defects which are attributed to older fathers.
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Old 9th December 2017, 6:33 PM   #14
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i feel that the human body in all its given glory will say when you are too old.......as long as you feel you can raise a child ....or it isnt medically possible for you to have baby and survive childbirth..a doctor told me i wouldnt survive if i had any more.....and i still wanted to have babies....but i didnt...deb
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Old 12th December 2017, 1:52 PM   #15
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I had my kids youngish, (23 and 25) and I am so glad that I did. I would not want to be older than 40 raising little ones. It's tough! I look forward to them being adults when I'm 45. I'll be young enough to enjoy grandchildren when they come, and to enjoy my life with my H sans kids living with us.

It's a personal choice that I don't place judgment on, everyone is different in what they want/need.
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