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Missing school for a vacation


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Old 12th July 2017, 11:34 PM   #1
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Missing school for a vacation

My bf and I have planned a 6 day trip out of state over Labor Day weekend with my teenage daughter. This would mean she'd miss 3 days of school the second week of school. We are going to a place none of us have ever been to, and we bought the tickets already for a great price. When I told my ex (her dad) about the trip, he blew a gasket. He is irate that I am taking her out of school for 3 days in her first year of high school. He is adamant that she will fall behind and her grades will drop and affect her ranking. He believes it's terrible parenting to take her on this trip during the school year. My stance is that it is only the 2nd week of school, and she is smart and responsible enough to make up the missed work especially if her teachers know about the trip in advance. I've been digging in my heels as it is MY week with her (we have joint custody), and I can plan whatever I want to plan while I have her.

Thoughts?

Last edited by hippychick3; 12th July 2017 at 11:37 PM..
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Old 13th July 2017, 12:04 AM   #2
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Your ex sounds jealous of your trip with the new bf and is using school as an excuse.
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Old 13th July 2017, 12:06 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
Your ex sounds jealous of your trip with the new bf and is using school as an excuse.
He actually doesn't know he's coming. I just told him I was taking her as it's none of his business who else comes. He told me I should take my bf instead of her so she won't miss school.

And he's not a new bf. We've been together for 4 years.
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Old 13th July 2017, 7:33 AM   #4
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Traveling and new experiences are the best "education" you can give your daughter.

Being stuck in a classroom all day is uncivilized anyways. We should be out playing, learning and experiencing life!!!

You've made the right decision. Good luck my friend!!!!
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Old 13th July 2017, 9:03 AM   #5
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3 days of school isn't going to make much difference. I agree she'll learn way more on the trip than in the classroom.
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Old 13th July 2017, 9:56 AM   #6
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Thanks for the feedback. He is very controlling and dramatic which is why I divorced him. He can't stand to not get his way.
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Old 13th July 2017, 1:46 PM   #7
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I wonder what the school's policy is on this. A friend of mine got reprimanded for taking her kid out of school for two days to travel with her to a not-close uncle's funeral. So it depends on school policy. I am mostly against sending the message that school is something you should just be able to set aside when you want to (to your kid) because that later is the message he takes into his workplace.
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Old 13th July 2017, 3:33 PM   #8
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I wonder what the school's policy is on this. A friend of mine got reprimanded for taking her kid out of school for two days to travel with her to a not-close uncle's funeral. So it depends on school policy. I am mostly against sending the message that school is something you should just be able to set aside when you want to (to your kid) because that later is the message he takes into his workplace.
Except that you can as an adult choose to take vacation days when you want them in most jobs.
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Old 14th July 2017, 1:47 AM   #9
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While a vacation can be a wonderful learning experience, there are a couple of things to consider.

Are you traveling out of state? If so, and you do not have permission from the other parent, there could be legal ramifications should he contest it. If not, are there any stipulations in your custody agreement about notifying the other parent when traveling, missing school etc?

In no school district that my husband or I have worked in, or my children have attended, is a vacation considered an excused absence. Depending on your child's school, depends on how they deal with unexcused absences. Some school districts will discipline the child (detention), some will fine the parents for truancy, and some will do nothing so long as the child does not miss a specified amount of days during the term (it will be in the student handbook, and on the school website). Many will also require a doctor's note if your child misses 2 or more consecutive days, if you try to get her excused as sick. Again, it will be in the handbook, and depends on the school's policy.

Your ex may be being a pain about the situation, but unless you have sole custody, and can travel with your child without his consent, be careful how you deal with him. A vindictive ex can make a vacation turn into a nightmare.

Sometimes, as crazy as our ex may drive us, it helps to take the high road. Something along the lines of "I would appreciate you agreeing to this one trip, and I will make sure she does not miss any more days this term unless she is sick." If you just discount his objections, he is much more likely to fight you.

With that said, I have taken our kids out of school for a family vacation. It does have its benefits, so long as you are aware of the potential problems it may cause. I also had sole physical and legal custody of my son, and did not need his father's consent to travel anywhere with him.
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Old 14th July 2017, 6:39 PM   #10
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Except that you can as an adult choose to take vacation days when you want them in most jobs.
Because you GET vacation days. In school, they pick the vacation days in the form of spring and holiday breaks, and that's when they expect people to vacation.
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Old 21st July 2017, 11:09 PM   #11
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I take my kid's out of school, two weeks a year. It's the only time my H & I can leave for that long. My daughter has never dropped grades bc of it & we get a Dr's note every year to cover the absence. 3 days is no big deal & as for kids learning to call off work....my daughter works two jobs & just received her first promotion over her 20 something year old coworkers, she's 17.

Education is learned in life experience, as well as a classroom...some forget it's just as important to learn how to live, travel, deal with different people & situations, as it is just reading, writing & math. One that learns both will be a well rounded adult
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Old 21st July 2017, 11:25 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IndigoNight View Post
While a vacation can be a wonderful learning experience, there are a couple of things to consider.

Are you traveling out of state? If so, and you do not have permission from the other parent, there could be legal ramifications should he contest it. If not, are there any stipulations in your custody agreement about notifying the other parent when traveling, missing school etc?

In no school district that my husband or I have worked in, or my children have attended, is a vacation considered an excused absence. Depending on your child's school, depends on how they deal with unexcused absences. Some school districts will discipline the child (detention), some will fine the parents for truancy, and some will do nothing so long as the child does not miss a specified amount of days during the term (it will be in the student handbook, and on the school website). Many will also require a doctor's note if your child misses 2 or more consecutive days, if you try to get her excused as sick. Again, it will be in the handbook, and depends on the school's policy.

Your ex may be being a pain about the situation, but unless you have sole custody, and can travel with your child without his consent, be careful how you deal with him. A vindictive ex can make a vacation turn into a nightmare.

Sometimes, as crazy as our ex may drive us, it helps to take the high road. Something along the lines of "I would appreciate you agreeing to this one trip, and I will make sure she does not miss any more days this term unless she is sick." If you just discount his objections, he is much more likely to fight you.

With that said, I have taken our kids out of school for a family vacation. It does have its benefits, so long as you are aware of the potential problems it may cause. I also had sole physical and legal custody of my son, and did not need his father's consent to travel anywhere with him.
Oops, didn't see this post until now.

I'm traveling out of state but do not require his permission to take her. He doesn't have to agree. He has let it go as I didn't back down.

It will not be an excused absence. They are only allowed so many a year. We plan to talk to her teachers ahead of time to get her assignments so she can do them on the trip if needed.
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