How Do I Introduce My Daughter To Her Father?

[MissCongeniality]

So my step brother is getting out of prison usually I tell people I'm from a foster family because it makes dealing with the abuse my dad put me through easier but I'm going to be honest because apparently it's supposed to be more healthy. I had sex with my step brother to spite my step mother when I was a teen.

 

Any way my daughter doesn't know much about her bio dad. He was arrested when I was pregnant for arson so I am pretty much the only parent she has had except her step dad.

 

I have no idea how to handle this. My daughter is a teen herself now.

[Gunny376]

Don't get heavy handed with it, keep it light with just a simple introduction. Leave it at that for the time being.

 

Gauge the situation then step-back, and observe.

 

Keep a handle on the situation for sure and certain, but be flexible and willing to adapt, improvise and over-come and see how things progress, with the willingness to step in if and when needed.

 

Take is slow, as in walking through a known landmine field with your hands over your ears, and your eyes closed SLOW.

 

Relationships takes YEARS to build, and seconds to destroy. Let HIM know this upfront. And then tell him to slow down from there, and take it slow, slow, slow, slow.......................Did I mention slow?

 

Your primary function and purpose is to protect and look out for the child. If you see things getting "hairy? Back up and pull back, and gauge the situation

[SincereOnlineGuy]

So my step brother is getting out of prison usually I tell people I'm from a foster family because it makes dealing with the abuse my dad put me through easier but I'm going to be honest because apparently it's supposed to be more healthy. I had sex with my step brother to spite my step mother when I was a teen.

 

Any way my daughter doesn't know much about her bio dad. He was arrested when I was pregnant for arson so I am pretty much the only parent she has had except her step dad.

 

I have no idea how to handle this. My daughter is a teen herself now.

 

 

 

The societal taboo on such things is VERY unfair to, ultimately, your daughter, and that is the part that really sucks.

 

 

A very memorable thread here on LS was started by a very sincere kid named Kevin, who had a school mate named Lacey, who was this random but perhaps appealing girl... and then over some amount of time Kevin's father and Lacey's mother met and began dating... eventually they married, and the big, happy family moved in together.

 

Well just imagine the fireworks when suddenly Kevin has this intriguing girl from school living under his roof... and the sparks fly... and they're unsure of themselves, but they do start dating. They seemed to us here like they had solid heads on their shoulders, but it just wasn't right for a bunch of strangers to decide they were wrong(!!) for that evolution they shared.

 

 

And so I hope that your evolution shared with your step-brother is such that it lets you look mostly normal in the detail-oriented eyes of most observers. The fact that pregnancy happened shouldn't really alter much of the dynamic even though society loves to punish/scorn those who fall pregnant while so often looking the other way from those who took identical chances and didn't fall pregnant.

 

 

SO IF your shared (with step-brother) story is such that it is relatively favorable in terms of your being two somewhat random-to-one-another teens who couldn't resist, then maybe emphasize that to your daughter when telling her of her father.

 

And if you were instead two step-siblings who grew up with one another for a long while, then maybe de-emphasize the details when telling your story to your daughter.

 

 

I think similar stories are more common than we realize, and I hope that to know some of the truth will help your daughter in the long run, even though it may take some time to settle within her.

[amaysngrace]

Go to an amusement park because that's usually a good time and it's summertime.

 

What did he set on fire?