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Dating with kids


Kuchi2

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Not sure if this belongs in the dating section, but it's mostly advice for the kid's end.

 

Boyfriend and I both have 2 smaller children (mine is 4 and his is 5). They met and adore each other (our biggest concern was that they would clash instead of be "kids" and want to play with each other). So, because our relationship is going great, steady and we are committed into ourselves and both our children, we spend quite a good amount of time with the kids and without.

 

He has a daughter and I have a son. His daughter is a daddy's girl and my son is a big time momma's boy; so both defend the parent when we have a fun and light discussion (like for example, my son said that BF is a crazy driver, his daughter defended him and said I was a crazy driver and her daddy drives great. Well, my son defended me, and it was a back and forth with them getting really defensive before we switched the subject. But it didn't get ugly, just stating how they are defensive over us). But just recently, his daughter has been more possessive over her dad. She has withdrawn a bit from me and requires her dad's attention alll the time when I'm around. My son, surprisingly, is in his own little world and actually adores the BF and has pushed me aside when they play lol.

 

So, question is, what would you recommend to help transition his daughter from building up negative feelings towards me and showing her I'm not taking him away from her? BF and I just had this discussion and we are throwing around ideas, but I wanted to ask here too to see if other parents might have some opinions. I mentioned to him to let me have alone time with the kids, and then alone time with her- like girl's day/night. He also mentioned for us to be less affectionate towards each other while the kid's are around. He stated she doesn't have any negative feelings towards me since she asks for me and my son all the time when we're not around (and my son does ask to go to their house when we're apart). I just don't want her to start looking at me like an enemy as she grows. BF and his daughter spend alot of alone time together aswell. We do hang out quite alot, but it's not every day. There's some weeks where we won't see each other until the weekend, and him and his daughter have all those days alone. And each of us have the kids alternating week and weekends with the other parent (Though I have my son slightly more during the week than he has his daughter).

Edited by Kuchi2
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