DatingDirection Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I got a nice scarf in the mail today from mom. It was a birthday gift from her. I started to feel a frog in my through as if I was about to cry historically. Then I got very angry with myself and asked myself why can't I just be happy for getting this gift. I took the scarf and smelled it...hoping to smell my moms scent. OK, now I'm crying.... I put the scarf around me, to feel as though my mom is near. I'm crying because I cannot hug her, or see her. So many years have gone by and she wasn't really too involved in my life. Our relationship is turbulent at times, BC I dislike her husband, for good reason, but past is past, but I look on the present moment and time has gone by, without her, and I feel like she's gone or at arms length... And I can never just enjoy the moment like the gift she just gave me. I wish she was my mother full time. If you know what I mean. I'm a grown woman, but this situation has caused me to feel deep sadness, extreme guilt, regret and anxiety. I can't afford a psychologist, so I guess I'm reaching out for help here. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 It sounds like a nice gift and it was sweet that she thought of you on your birthday. Kid's birthdays are special for moms too, I think. Do you still speak to your mother? Can you tell her what you've said here? Would it be healthy for you to try to reconcile with her and put everything behind you? Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 What's wrong with her husband? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 So arrange to spend some time with her. You will feel better having re-established the connection. My own mom passed away 5 years ago so please love your mom while she is still here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DrMario Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 I missed out on many years with my father, the last time I spoke to him prooerly was in an argument, we was both too stubborn to patch things up properly, a few months went by and by the time I saw him next, he was on his deathbed, he had slipped into a diabetic coma and was fighting pneumonia, I said a lot to him but I never heard anything back and when I left the hospital that day I knew I would see him again, he died the very next day. Please contact your mother, you might not have to have the best relationship with her but talk to her and air out the cupboard for your own sake. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 My mom was fine, just had the flu, coughed up some blood so she went to the hospital. I had a doctor's appointment and my brother said she was fine, so I went to my appointment and by the time I got out of it, she had had a stroke, put on a ventilator, and never woke up. By the time I got there, it was too late. I never got to talk to her. You just never know. You may think whatever reasons you have are important. But unless she was an abusive witch, they aren't. Link to post Share on other sites
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