drunkensquid Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Let me start by saying that my life is a mess. I'm 24 and stuck in a **** relationship. My ex of 6 years left my **** on the doorstep after I got arrested on a petty misdemeanor marijuana charge. Makes sense considering she (still) smokes more than I did and has a little bit of a pill problem due to her new guy having quite a big pill problem. Now, all that being said, she loves our 2 year son very much and she is a great mother. Not very bright, but her heart is in the right place. Back on track, after she threw my ass out I had literally nowhere to go. It was a rough month, let's just say that.. After plenty of random park benches and a tent, a good friend offered me a place to stay after I told her everything that was going on. I couldn't say no to a warm bed, even if it was in her mom's spare bedroom. We became romantically involved almost immediately. She has a son with her ex, I have a son with mine, we both were struggling through a post breakup mess.. So it seemed like we could be good for each other. Her mother allowed us to rent two spare rooms for us and our kids.. Eventually we moved out into our own place, where we live now, a year and a half into our relationship.. And I am beyond tired of her existence in my life. She will not clean, cannot cook, sits on her phone or the computer all day, every day, she's put on about 30 lbs in all the wrong places and it's time for her to go. She's always in a miserable mood, won't talk about any of our problems, constantly accusing me of cheating or being up to something when I literally only go to work. I don't even go to the bar or anything. I've talked to her about her options and she isn't sure what she's going to do yet, and I feel bad for chucking her out with her son, but she has a strong family support system for childcare, money help, etc., so she'll be alright in the long run. Here comes the dilemma.. I depend on her for watching my son, who I have every other week, while I work full time. I love my boy dearly and I don't want to lose time with him, but I don't really know what to do to resolve this issue. I don't want to get involved with anyone else until the right person comes along, and I certainly won't be rushing into a relationship based on external needs. I work five to six days a week and the idea of this other guy becoming more of a father figure to my son makes me sick. I don't have a lot of family help and certainly not enough to cover 40+ hours of babysitting a week. I don't make enough to afford a child care center.. Any ideas? Anyone been through this and have advice? It would be much appreciated.. Sorry for the ridiculous amount of back story. haha Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 welcome to the board. the search tool may help. others have some good experience. wish you well, maybe some family counseling to help you understand the role of a parent and gathering respect for those who helped you when you were down and out. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Does the childs Mother live nearby? If so can't she do the daycare while you work? I've worked and raised 2 boys on my own. It is certainly possible. I've used daycare (in our country there is a subsidy for low income earners at an approved childcare centre.) I've also given cash to friends who've been home with their kids at times. I've used friends teenager's to help babysit, and I've also done shift work so family can help out when they've been not working at night. Where there is a will there is a way. Link to post Share on other sites
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