michellew Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 My son is a senior in high school and wants to go to a bonfire tonight. I don't feel good about letting him go; the only bonfires I ever went to were full of drinking. He promised he wouldn't drink if they had alcohol, but there's always peer pressure, especially since these are kids he doesn't really know. (His new girlfriend invited him and she goes to another school.) Am I being overprotective here? This is the first time he's ever asked to go to something like this and I wasn't prepared for it. His time with friends is usually spent going out to eat after football games and competitions. (He's in marching band.) Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 I see why you're concerned. Bonfires can be quite the party. However your son said he wouldn't drink and seventeen is a good age for him to take some responsibility for himself and start making his own decisions, even about drinking alcohol. It's time for him to start cutting the apron strings and preparing for adult hood. Link to post Share on other sites
Author michellew Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 I see why you're concerned. Bonfires can be quite the party. However your son said he wouldn't drink and seventeen is a good age for him to take some responsibility for himself and start making his own decisions, even about drinking alcohol. It's time for him to start cutting the apron strings and preparing for adult hood. I was afraid someone would say this! Lol ? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Will there be any adults? I think it's fair to expect there to be an adult presence at a party that combines high school aged people and alcohol. I would not knowingly send my high school aged kid to a party where I knew that other kids were drinking/serving alcohol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author michellew Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 Will there be any adults? I think it's fair to expect there to be an adult presence at a party that combines high school aged people and alcohol. I would not knowingly send my high school aged kid to a party where I knew that other kids were drinking/serving alcohol. I doubt there will be any adults. It is in the desert, not someone's home. I am not 100% positive there will be alcohol there either. I am just assuming since I was once a teenager myself and know the drill. I'm still torn. I'm hoping he will change his mind about wanting to go. Maybe I can sway him to take her to a movie or something. Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Although I'm not a parent, I can understand why you wouldn't want him to go to something like that. But at the same time I look back on my high school years (two decades ago), and am happy my parents allowed me to go to parties and didn't come down on me too hard about them. They made sure that I wasn't driving with anyone drinking and that I knew how to be responsible if I were to drink. At some point you need to let him be a teenager. I was a shy kid so when I started going to parties it helped me break out of my shell and learn the social skills that I was behind on developing. My parents made sure that I knew the consequences of my actions but they let me make my own decisions and I am very thankful for that. I think education is key. And let him know that if he does come home drunk or high that there will be consequences. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 A Co worker of mine said it best to me one time on parenting..... Your kids will do exactly what you did and then some. The good news is...you turned out okay, so allow them those same life choices. Your 17 year old son has had your positive influence, support him in his choice . 4 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I'd let him go and make him promise you that he won't drink and drive or get in a car with anyone who has been drinking. Tell him to call you at any hour if he needs a ride and you will go get him. Also make him pack clothes and blankets and pillows in case he needs to crash there but remind him not to pass out with the engine running even if it's cold. Link to post Share on other sites
Author michellew Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 I let him go and reminded him of the consequences of making poor decisions. It turns out that the bonfire is at a house afterall, not in the middle of no where! He is also going with a good friend from school who also has a good head on his shoulders. Both of these make me feel much better about my decision to let him go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author michellew Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 I let him go and reminded him of the consequences of making poor decisions. It turns out that the bonfire is at a house afterall, not in the middle of no where! He is also going with a good friend from school who also has a good head on his shoulders. Both of these make me feel much better about my decision to let him go. Whew. He was home in time (midnight curfew) and sober! That wasn't so bad. Lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 My feeling, as someone who was once 17, is that if drinking is his goal, he has already drank and does by no means need to go to a bonfire or any special occasion to do so. It's just not that hard to get ahold of since everyone's big brother or sister or parent has alcohol. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 IMO, I'd be glad he told you about it. The flip side is that he could have completely lied and gone anyway, had something terrible happen and you would have had absolutely no idea where he was or who he was with. That said, I can totally understand your fears, my son is 13 and I'm sure we'll be crossing this road soon. Link to post Share on other sites
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