Dilemma

[Chibaby]

Hi -

I have an interesting situation dealing with childcare. I live in LA so of course getting into a preschool or daycare when you have a one year old child is next to impossible. My issue is this. We've hired two different nannys. The first one quit because she was going on a religious mission. We hired a new one. Then the first nanny ended up not going on her mission because she got engaged.

 

Here is my issue. I LOVED our first nanny. The second one is OK, but very reliable. The first nanny wants to come back to work, but I feel that it wouldn't be right to fire the new one, and rehire the old one even though thats what I'd like to do. Here are my lists of pros and cons. I am so torn, any opnions out there?

 

Old Nanny Pros: Loving, caring, has a great bond w/baby, I trust her more than anyone, has a way with kids, gentle

 

Old Nanny Cons: Travels a lot meaning I have to take time off work, already quit once, sometimes late by 5 min or so

 

 

New Nanny Pros: Always on time, reliable, doesn't travel much, easy to communicate with, works extra hours

 

New Nanny Cons: Lazy, does odd things (takes a shower at my house?), boyfriend works at a medical marijuana place - she may have come to work high once, uses my shampoo and hairbrush?

 

I really don't know what to do. Do I choose someone I trust and my child bonds with but always has things going on, or someone who is decent, but questionable behaviors, yet very reliable. HELP!

[KaliKatherine]

What's the first nannys plan after marriage? Will she still work? If she has a child in the next year, would she still want to nanny? How much maternity leave might she want or conversely would you be able to manage?

 

I'm not sure why you describe your new nanny as lazy, perhaps give examples of this? If you're uncomfortable with her using your shower why not lay out ground rules. Personally if I was employing someone in my home to look after my child that appeared to be under the influence of a substance as you mention, I would not trust that person to look after my child; however you describe this I the frame of a question so Im not entirely sure what to make of that piece of information.

 

My overall impression is that the first nanny is more compatible with your family and you feel more comfortable with her; yet the frequent vacations were a challenge. How long has your 2nd nanny been with you? If you've already found this many shortcomings in a short time period, you have to evaluate is this just an adjustment and are these things workable/acceptable or not for my family?

 

Daycare, nanny, co-op daycare.... There's no perfect childcare situation. There's just the best fit one can manage and that elusive 'mommy sense' that guides us through the strange journey of parenthood. Good luck.

[KaliKatherine]

I wanted to add that I knew a family who employed a nanny that nanny-shared with another family two or three day per week depending on the familys schedules. And when the nanny was on vacation the 2 families would 'split' the vacation between them, eg mama first family did mon-weds, mama second family did thurs-Fri.

 

I also know of another family who wrote into their contract that any vacation requests beyond the 2 weeks per year they allowed, the nanny was responsible for finding a sub (provided the family approved her of course)

[Arabella]

Honestly, I'd go and find a third nanny! Neither of these two women seem to be working out very well.

 

The first one isn't reliable, and if she quit on you once... she may very well do it again.

 

The second strikes me as completely irresponsible. I'd have fired her on the spot if I found her high.