Standing On My Own Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Me and ex have been separated for about a month and a half. He had an affair and left me for his best friend's wife.... Every day our three year old daughter is with him the new 'girlfriend' is there visiting. Sometimes all day and evening long, sometimes with and sometimes without her two year old daughter. This woman is not a new person in daughter's life as she was a good family friend before all of this happened. Am I wrong to worry about how much time my child is spending with the other woman? I worry that it will confuse her. I worry that she will not be able to bond with her father as she will always be competing for his attention. Am I putting too much thought into this? Any advice would be appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 My advice is to leave it alone because unless you can PROVE abuse, there us NOTHING you can do about it, legal or otherwise. Starting a fight won't get you anywhere and creating animosity between your ex, his girlfriend and yourself will definitely not be in your daughters best interest. Stay out of it and remember that living well is the best revenge. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Its a natural worry, but as said above there is nothing you can do, Do not worry! Your child will not be confused it would have to take your complete absence for that a mother/child bond is strong as hell and she won't be confused in who's who. The only thing I would worry about is what they do around the kids effection wise? I dont see having a adult to adult talk as an issue about things like heavy makeouts in their presence etc keep it PG. Link to post Share on other sites
atlg8r Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 I don't necessarily agree with the other advice here. My concern is, is this a legitimate concern, or are you mad because this is the woman your ex left you for? (I can understand if you are mad. I would be too.) If there is a legitimate reason for concern, I see no reason why you couldn't discuss this with your ex. State that he has shared time with his daughter to spend time with her, and that you understand he's got a new relationship, but that his daughter should come first and he should sometimes do things with her and her alone to nurture that relationship. If he can't have a mature conversation about his relationship with his daughter, then maybe it's time to reconsider whatever custody arrangement you have with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 I don't necessarily agree with the other advice here. My concern is, is this a legitimate concern, or are you mad because this is the woman your ex left you for? (I can understand if you are mad. I would be too.) If there is a legitimate reason for concern, I see no reason why you couldn't discuss this with your ex. State that he has shared time with his daughter to spend time with her, and that you understand he's got a new relationship, but that his daughter should come first and he should sometimes do things with her and her alone to nurture that relationship. If he can't have a mature conversation about his relationship with his daughter, then maybe it's time to reconsider whatever custody arrangement you have with him. I agree. I have friends who quickly got a settlement agreement in place for just this reason. I have friends who have agreed the "new partner" will not spend the night when the child is around. If this is a concern of yours, make sure it's not because of being hurt, and then address it with your soon to be ex (I hope). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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