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I refused to sign my father's Power of Attorney


Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

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Old 5th January 2017, 6:44 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simple Logic View Post
it is time to get POAs, living wills, trusts, ect in order now rather than wait. Talk to both parents, get this done and you maintain originals in a safe place, ie safe deposit box.
They should have an "Advance Directive" in place, if they did this would never had been a topic of conversation.

My wife and I did an "Advance Directive" when we did our wills but you don't have to do the will part in order to do the AD, the AD is more for Healthcare and can be done all by itself.

Not sure about Canadian law however but I'm sure they have something similar
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Old 5th January 2017, 10:46 AM   #17
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I don't know if it is unusual for a child to have POA instead of a spouse.

My uncles HAD POA one medical (he is a nurse) one regular for both my grandparents. When my grandpa died obviously my grandma mad decisions with my uncles. MY my uncle handled all the paperwork etc...The other one consulted on medical decisions

My grandparents are close in age so I think they did this just in case they were both incapacitated at the same time. Also my grandpa had Alzheimer so he could be my grandma's POA. But they have had this is place for decades.

my husband on his sister are their mother's POA not her husband.
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Old 9th January 2017, 12:51 PM   #18
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Yeah quite often children are given POA rather than spouses. Although without the underlying reason that your Dad has.

I don't know if his concerns have any validity or not. But if he really has those concerns is it fair of you, to decide they are baseless and refuse his request?

There should be very rare situations where you'd actually have to travel as his POA to be somewhere in person. The odd trip to a Notary Public to sign a document legally should take care of most things.
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Old 13th January 2017, 5:48 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by Gaeta View Post
So last night I had a moment with my mother and she was a bit annoyed my father wanted this. Like me she felt it was more about blocking her than anything else. My brother and I made her see it was for his peace of mind that in case something happens I would not go against her wish and she knows better than I how to take care of him.

After this discussion I told my father I had given it more thoughts and I was willing to sign his POA if he still wishes. He said ok but he was too tired to get into it now (it was late by that time).

Usually I visit them on Easter weekend it will have to wait then.
You live a 12 hour drive away and you "usually" visit at Easter.

Easter is 3 months away in mid April. So you dont see them that much. With respect you have no idea what state their marriage is in or how your mom has behaved him over the many years they've been married as you are never there to see it. They wouldn't necessarily tell you.

It's not unusual to have a child as POA either.
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