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Friend who is also my ex sister in law


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Old 18th December 2016, 1:19 PM   #1
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Friend who is also my ex sister in law

Almost two years ago my brother and his wife split up. His wife has been a part of our family for 12+ years and I even lived with them for a while when I was single. My husband and I planned to give them guardianship of our kids. We live in seperate cities but we would visit several times a year, skype, and text. We were in each other's weddings. I grew up without sisters so she really became like an older sister to me as I was still a teenager when I met her (my brother is a lot older than me). The divorce gutted our whole family and still has been hard. My brother encouraged me to remain friends and made no demands. I haven't had a chance to see her in person for a year now because of my health but we still were keeping in touch.

But now I think it is that point to say good-bye. She messaged me all excited because she has met someone new and is at the stage of introducing him to my niece. Even though they tried my brother and her were unable to have more children and my ex sister in law seemed happy he had a daughter who would be my niece's step sister. I kept telling myself the marriage was over but this makes it far more real and I feel awkward hearing this and then hearing other things from my mom that my brother has said. I didn't say much and now haven't talked to her in weeks. I'm not angry I just was trying to figure out what to do.

I might be a little angry but I shouldn't be. I just don't think I can handle this. I am very glad we live in separate cities. Except for my nieces wedding in 20 years or so I shouldn't have to see her.

She hasn't messaged me either. So maybe she feels it too. This is more of a vent but I do have a question. Should I tell her our friendship is at an end or should I just remain silent? Let it die naturally? It hurts a lot but I knew from the beginning that her and my brother had no desire to repair their marriage. They both wanted to find exciting new love and a fresh start. I actually know way too many details about their divorce. From the outside it seems like they tore their family apart for pure selfishness and neither of them taking responsibility. I imagine living it was harder. I never shared my opinion with her. People do what they want and it would have done no good.

Sorry for the very long rant.
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Old 18th December 2016, 1:27 PM   #2
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Hey :)

By stating that your friendship is 'over' may be too much.

I think the saying 'Least said, soonest mended'

May apply here.

Just drop it and move on with your life, leaves you a free field with your niece, no head pressure, no recriminations.

Swerve any future contact as best you can.
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