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Inconsiderate and cowardly


mortensorchid

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mortensorchid

On Mother's Day (last May) my sister brought home her new bf, she was serious about him since she was bringing him for a holiday meal before me and our parents. I met him once, seemed like an okay guy, divorced with two children (although I didn't know that until just recently, as I thought he was younger than my sister, he's actually older).

 

Last week, she was working through Friday and most of Saturday during the day (she's a doctor) and she asked if he would do a favor for her. She asked if he would install the new gas tank in her backyard grill, she had ordered a new one online and it was at the house. He said sure. When she came home Saturday afternoon / evening, she found a note taped to her front door with the house key contained. He said "I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore." She tried calling him, he blocked her number on his phone.

 

I told her I was sorry, it makes me angry to hear this. It's happened to me before more times than I care to think about, being dumped via email or text. I told her I wish men were men and they were brave and courageous and strong like they are in the fairy tales of a prince coming to rescue the damsel in distress, but they are not. Instead they leave the princess to languish in the tower and let the dragon win.

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It's possible she doesn't want to admit that he did try to breakup with her before, and she wouldn't have it. Obviously some things were going down in that relationship you may not know about. I'm not condoning the method, but sometimes there is not choice.

 

I had to do the same thing with my ex because he would let me walk. He literally would cling onto my leg crying....it was so pathetic. I ended up leaving the key and a note in the mail box. He still bombarded me with calls, showed up at my work, had his friends try to convince me to take him back....I'm like seriously?? let me f-ing go! I want to go!

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I know someone who's live-in boyfriend "left" while she was literally in the shower. It is cowardly and inconsiderate.

 

It is probably best that she learn this about him sooner than later.

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You are only able to work out what really happened when the person involved posts and is able to answer questions.

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Sounds like he could tell she was going to expect more of a partner out of him and he realized he wasn't ready for that. There IS not good way to break up. At least this way and what preceded it sort of gave her a picture of what brought it on. Guys who are serious do want you to need them, but those who aren't don't.

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salparadise
I wish men were men and they were brave and courageous and strong like they are in the fairy tales of a prince coming to rescue the damsel in distress, but they are not. Instead they leave the princess to languish in the tower and let the dragon win.

 

 

If fairy tales are the basis of your reality testing and expectations... well, I'll send my condolences in advance.

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I told her I wish men were men and they were brave and courageous and strong like they are in the fairy tales of a prince coming to rescue the damsel in distress, but they are not. Instead they leave the princess to languish in the tower and let the dragon win.

 

I think we need to hook you up with the poster who felt he was misled by Disney stories. You'd make a perfect pair.

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Gr8fuln2020

mortensorchid,He said that he couldn't do this anymore...What do you make of this? Your sister being a doctor, would you characterize her as a type A personality? Straight, blunt, perhaps a little demanding? Also, it would appear that you did not know this guy at all. Do you think the family get together may have been premature? For him? Perhaps he felt a combination of of being rushed and not being able to handle the fact that your sister is a doctor? Just some thoughts. As others have said, you don't really know what had been going on in the relationship.

 

I wonder what difference it would have made if he told her in person. Would you or she have taken it any easier or would that face-to-face prove to be an opportunity for additional conflict? I'm not agreeing with the way he ended it, but I wonder what the fascination for a face-to-face ending is about?

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