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mommy & daddy issues


WhatIsLove2014

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WhatIsLove2014

I saw a thread about resolving daddy issues...

 

I was wondering is it possible to have mommy issues regarding men?

 

My mom was always the type of person to expect more from the guy who is doing the most (ie my dad) and more is never good enough but will be with a guy who is doing the bare minimum for years but complain about him not doing enough.

 

I feel like I have taken on this same complex without even realizing it until now.

 

How do you deal with something like this?

 

My dad wasn't the best dad and my mom wasn't a great mom. I know people say you can't blame the way you are on your parents and your upbringing and I'm not trying to do that. But obviously, it does have an impact on you in some way.

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I think that we develop what we want in a mate from what we see growing up...

 

Yes, over the years we also learn from our environment can also affect what we are looking for in a mate...Sometimes we replicate what we see, sometimes we go in the opposite direction.

 

I think the key is recognizing "why" we do what we do and figuring out if that's in our best interests now as an adult.

 

For example, some people were raised in bad homes. They grow up and get into abusive situations and say "well, I never learned what a good home looks like"...But duh, who hasn't seen healthy couples at work, in social settings, or on TV (i.e. the Brady Bunch).

 

So, I'm glad you seem to recognize why you do what you do...I guess now you gotta make a choice as to whether or not you want to seek/learn tools to change it (i.e. counseling).

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