My Godson told me he loved me!

[aprilisi]

I have been close to him all his life. I am 18 years older than him. He actually started getting flirty two years ago, I put it off as crazy hormones. Two days after his 18th birthday he told me he's loved me for years.

 

I was speechless for a moment, I told him I loved him too, but like a son. That I was there when he was born. That he was young and needed to date girls his own age,. fall in love and have babies.

 

He got angry. His dad called me today that he didn't come home and have I heard from him? I feel horrible, never thought something like this would happen. I truly do love him and want him in my life, did I handle this right?

And how would you handle the aftermath?

[GemmaUK]

I would be doing what I could to find him.

I wouldn't be posting on a forum.

[ktya]

He'll come home on his own. He's probably out getting drunk with friends who are telling him they told him so that it was crazy to try to get with his mom's friend.

 

Sounds like he really wants some sexual experience. Anonymously hire him an escort for an hour, his love for you will pass pretty quick. Poor kid's probably been jerking off to thoughts of you since he was 12.

[mightycpa]

Well, we know two things about this kid. He's got balls, and he is so not tuned in to the ordinary social clues.

[preraph]

Boy, that's an explosive situation. If his parents find out from him instead of you, they'll blame you for it because no one will blame their own kid for anything. I believe I'd talk to whichever of the parents is the most rational and level headed and just let them know what happened. See, every get-together is going to be miserable from now on and they will know something happened and imagine the worst. Unless the father is a jerk or doesn't like you or something, I think that's who I'd tell because he'll understand how a boy that age could get a crush on you at least. His mother will likely blame you for hurting his feelings or something. Yikes. Plus the father can have a man to man talk with him. He's going to be embarrassed no matter what, but this is what happens when parents don't teach their kids boundaries. Jeez

[d0nnivain]

You did the right thing & could not have predicted he'd have such an unstable reaction.

 

Tell his parents what transpired. Make it clear that you were trying to let him down gently & thought you did.

 

All of you should be looking for him & praying for his safety.

[brokenangel1]

speak to his parents about this before he hurts himself

[aprilisi]

He came home tonight. Said he was out with friends.

 

He's a good kid really. Really don't know if I can bring it up with his parents. I'm such a wimp.

[d0nnivain]

Since he's safe, I think you can keep his secret.

 

I only wanted you to disclose because I was worried he was suicidal.

[preraph]

The dad called you when he went missing. So he knows enough to know you two are close or whatever. I don't think you should be lying to them. I'm glad he's home, but if he says anything to the dad about talking to you beforehand or anything and you didn't tell them what happened, there's no coming back from that.

[anika99]

How old is he? Telling his parents will only serve to humiliate and further embarrass him. Doubt his parents can make him stop believing he loves you. Just make sure you have strict boundaries with him and never act in a way that he could misconstrue as flirty or romantic.

[aprilisi]

He just turned 18. His mom and I have been friends for over 30 years and I would babysit alot.

 

That was my way of thinking. What good would telling them do? He's a teenager. I just want him to find a sweet girl.

[d0nnivain]

I suppose if you have to tell them I'd word it something like this:

 

I don't want to embarrass [your son] but I wanted to give you head's up. he confessed that he has a little crush on me. I tried to let him down gently but I think I still hurt his feelings.

[Hope Shimmers]

He's an adult and it sounds like he waited until he was 18 to tell you on purpose. You should respect his privacy unless you feel he is in danger, not run and tell his parents. He would probably be humiliated.

 

I'm sure he will get over it, but it had to take a lot of guts to tell you that and I think it's telling that he waited until he was a legal adult.

[Mysterio]

What are you hot or something. You must be giving off non parental vibes to him. If he is 18 and you are 35. He must not look at you that way.

 

For the most part. I think that men have it hard to be just platonic with women for the most part. I have a female friend that is 63 to my 43 and I see her has hot. I don't know what it is. I don't think she is doing anything to make herself hot.

 

I say for me its more default. She is a nurturing woman and is affectionate towards me and soft. Contrast to the women around me that come off as way more aloof. I don't know what to say but when things go to normal. You may want to alter how you interact with him. You have to start treating him like the son you never had.