My mother!

[Rosearm]

Right ok, I am 25, still live at home, unable to move out any time soon due to financial reason, although I am saving once my car is paid off next month (Three year finance)

 

My mum is mad and is driving me crazy. She just wont leave me alone. Its hard to explain. She walks into my room whenever she feels like it, tells me what to wear, where to park my car, what to eat, what to drink, what time to go to bed ect ect.

 

A good example today was I had put some ketchup on my tea. I went back to the kitchen from the garden to get some more..

 

Mum shouts “Scott!, you had some earlier"

 

Later tonight she walks in to room as car drives past and beeps its horn

 

“Who’s that? Ah? Who is it?”

I said I didn't know and I didn't really care.

It was getting dark, but we are having a heatwave so I had not put the light on yet, I was on my PC near the window.

“People can see you sat there”

“I don’t care, I am hot”

“I do care, people can see you!”

She walks in and draws the curtains.

 

I have asked her before not to walk in to my room, I am a man and I like my space but she said its her house, if I don't like it then I can get out her house!

 

Most evenings she comes in and tells me to turn my PC and go to bed. She goes to bed but about half and hour later, she gets up again and shouts at me to turn it off.

 

When I have a bath, I like to go in my room and sit in the nude to cool off! Quite often she is walking around outside my door or knocking saying she needs to come in!

 

Sometimes I go out early in the morning because I do photography, she hears me and gets up shouting and banging on the door asking me what I am doing?!

 

I pay housekeeping and I work full time. I do a lot to help my parents, my dad had a stroke last year so he isn't as active as he was and I do a lot to help. My younger brother is lazy but she says nothing to him!

 

I've tried for a while to ignore her but she keeps on and on and I lose my temper which results in us shouting at each other!

 

 

Can anyone work out her actions and what I can do.

Edited July 18, 2013 by Rosearm

[LBlanc]

ah... all that i think is your mother's backhanded way of telling you to move your butt out of her house ASAP...

 

lets call it "reverse tough love"

 

or "guerrilla motivation"

[Nyla]

This is exactly why adults should not live at home. As long as you are living under your mother's roof, she will treat you like a child. My parents were the same way, except they gave far more freedom to my brothers.

[CC12]

I have asked her before not to walk in to my room, I am a man and I like my space but she said its her house, if I don't like it then I can get out her house!

 

She's completely correct about the part I bolded. As long as you're living in her house, you have to accept that there are certain things you can't do. And you're not going to get anything close to complete privacy until you're in your own place.

 

I guess you could try to have a serious conversation with her, and tell her that while you realize it's her house and her rules, you're an adult and you would like to have your own personal space where other people aren't free to barge in. And that you're a big boy now and you need big boy rules. If she won't work with you on that, well, that gives you more incentive to work harder and get your own place.

 

P.S. Why are you putting ketchup in your tea?

[Radu]

I can think of a couple of reasons, but you will have to write more and think more on this because i foresee some problems in your future ... in that you might become a little like her [don't laugh at this, it's pretty serious].

 

Either she's a control freak, who wants to have everything done her way.

Or maybe she refuses to acknowledge you have grown up, and sees a reason for this in your living at home.

Or just maybe you are the scapegoat child and your little brother is the darling little golden child.

 

Write more, go back in time.

[Emilia]

Can anyone work out her actions and what I can do.

Move out of the house. Why can't you stand on your own feet at the age of 25?

[Mittens]

P.S. Why are you putting ketchup in your tea?

 

I'm guessing that, like me, he's in the UK. People here tend to refer to dinner as 'tea'.

 

As a foreigner, even though I've been living here on and off for 30 years, it still irritates me! I often feel like yelling 'tea is a ****ing drink!'

[Rosearm]

Move out of the house. Why can't you stand on your own feet at the age of 25?

 

I can stand on my own two feet. Its been pretty tough the last few years with the recession and I have been in a lowly paid job. I used my savings and income to buy myself a decent, reliable car so in the future I wont have to worry about a old car that may breakdown or any point.

 

As I explained, my car is almost paid off and I am saving towards moving out. I also got promotion last week so thats good news.

[Treasa]

You'll have to suck it up and deal with it until you move out, then. At least you aren't homeless.

 

No one can change your mom. Asking why she is the way she is won't change a thing.

 

Get a second job and then you can move out that much more quickly.