chelle21689 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I think I don't love my niece. Since she was born she has always been soooo annoying on purpose that everyone thinks so. Shes 12 by the way. She is very smart and is very cocky because of that and always thinks she knows more than adults. She loves to manipulate and purposely drive people insane for the fun of it without a care. She just tries to argue all the time. Not with me but with everyone. Her mom never punished her and spoils her. My parents stick up for her and tries to brush it off thinking its a way for attention and show her more love I mean I care for her though. Like I would hate to see something bad happen to her and I would be sad because well she is my niece and is family. it's just I can't stand being with her most times as well as most of my other family members because of her personality lol. Once in a whole we have our bonding moments. So yeah, I'm not sure if I love her. Link to post Share on other sites
The Introvert Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I think your niece is still to mature that's part and parcel of growing up. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 It's pretty normal. You're just not supposed to admit it. My half brother is 14 and if he got run over by a bus I think I'd do a dance for joy when none were looking. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I don't love my brother. But he is not a boy anymore. He is a man of 37 and I am a woman of 34. Your niece still has alot of growing up to do and it's ok for you to find her annoying or immature and not "love" her. You don't choose family, and family can sometimes be the cruelest. Not "loving/liking" her doesn't make you a bad person, but you are the older more mature one, so how you handle your distaste for her is paramount. She is young. You can still encourage good behaviour out of her with patience and knowing that alot of what she does is just a faze. She is seeing how far she can push things. Being a teenager is all about boundaries. And they will push them, with everyone and everything. That's how they learn. My relationship with my brother is strained because we are very different people with opposing values, politically, socially, everything. And he ENJOYS creating tension, pushing buttons to get reactions out of me and trying to make me look bad in front of others. He relishes in seeing me disgraced/angry/frustrated, whatever. I don't hate him or want anything bad to happen to him, but I don't love him and I don't feel bad about that. I wish things were different between us, even for the sake of my parents, but I have tried to find a level with him so many times, but he unfortunatly, he just is the type of person I would never like by choice or choose to be around if we weren't related, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way about me. I've limited my time and energy with him to an absolute minimal. It's sad, but that's the result of his continued behaviour towards me, even into adulthood. Give your niece some time. You may find she will experience alot of up's and downs over the next few years which will shape her and change her drastically. (let's hope) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Is it bad if I don't love a family member? Kind of? I mean, she's twelve. She's not a fully formed person yet. You can't really hold kids' ****ty personalities against them. If she has bad manners or doesn't behave in a way that endears her to people, it's the fault of her parents, not her. Kids aren't programmed to be kind to others or to not be annoying. They have to be taught those things. And if her parents aren't teaching her those things, that's really kind of sad, and they're certainly not doing her any favors. But then again, she's twelve, and sometimes there's just no controlling how a twelve-year-old behaves. And speaking from experience, twelve is a very awkward age. Lots of hormonal, kid-to-teenager weirdness, lots of social pressure to fit in at school, etc. So anyway, try to cut her some slack. Reserve your judgment of her until she's an adult. If she's still annoying and cocky and manipulative when she's, say, 20, then you'll have a good reason to dislike her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leegh Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Time will tell if she will get better with time. She probably will mature a lot as she gets older, as most people do. It may be best to limit time with her (for your emotional well-being) but be polite when do you have to be around her. I have a relative that I don't really want to be in touch with, but I have to around holidays, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Hah, I don't like my middle brother (28) at all. There is no love between us. I think he is an extremely huge jerk and I wouldn't care if I never saw him again. It's been about 10 years since I moved out of home, where he and I shared a room, and it was so horrible, we just don't talk. Every now and then I see him for family events and he's just so cold I never bother trying to say more than two words to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I think I don't love my niece. Since she was born she has always been soooo annoying on purpose that everyone thinks so. Shes 12 by the way. She is very smart and is very cocky because of that and always thinks she knows more than adults. She loves to manipulate and purposely drive people insane for the fun of it without a care. She just tries to argue all the time. Not with me but with everyone. Her mom never punished her and spoils her. My parents stick up for her and tries to brush it off thinking its a way for attention and show her more love I mean I care for her though. Like I would hate to see something bad happen to her and I would be sad because well she is my niece and is family. it's just I can't stand being with her most times as well as most of my other family members because of her personality lol. Once in a whole we have our bonding moments. So yeah, I'm not sure if I love her. You have every right not to love a family member. You didn't choose any of them and personality conflicts happen. I don't like my cousin' wife. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 You don't choose your family. Its ok if you don't love one of them. I have had nothing to do with my sister in over 35 years or her kids, and I cared for them when they were babies. Now the are grown with kids of their own and I've never even seen them. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I think it's hard not to love a family member. Sure there are times when you don't like them, but you always love them. At least that's how I am. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 She's 12. She is the way she is partially because she's 12 and also because her parents have allowed that behaviour and enabled her to be this way. Maybe there is a part of her that is just like this too, but eventually she'll mature and grow up, become less annoying. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Hah, I don't like my middle brother (28) at all. There is no love between us. I think he is an extremely huge jerk and I wouldn't care if I never saw him again. It's been about 10 years since I moved out of home, where he and I shared a room, and it was so horrible, we just don't talk. Every now and then I see him for family events and he's just so cold I never bother trying to say more than two words to him. I have a brother like this...he is the second oldest. He is nothing but a violent and cruel bully with control issues. I won't hate him because that is too close to love, but I stay away from him as much as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
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