Jump to content

Can't get away from my parents.


Ed the 3rd

Recommended Posts

Ed the 3rd

It really does suck so hard that you have to be driven EVERYWHERE by your dad at the age of 19. It really does hurt because I feel like I have no independence. There is next to nothing in terms of public transport here and the only train that goes anywhere really is stopped at like 7PM. If I wanna go to work my dad takes me, if I wanna go to the gym my dad takes me. Its like I'm living the life of a 50 year old because unless its work he only takes me places when he feels like it.

 

And the worst part is not only do others look at me as if not only am I a brat and completely incompetent but if I complain about it well I'm being an ******* who doesn't appreciate anything.. The only way to survive is to get a damn car and how am I supposed to come up with the money to take a couple catchup lessons, take the theory test, the actual test, buy the car, insure it, Road tax it and pay for its fuel without being able to get to a job in the first place.

 

Really does suck.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Ed the 3rd

Its at least a 3 hour trip to work on a bike. And a 2 hour trip to the gym.

 

Because its fun living in the middle of nowhere.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Move. Or save up and buy a car. Where on earth is your pay going to when you're living with your parents anyway?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Ed the 3rd

Some goes towards my dads petrol. Other goes to rent, food and some clothes since I've lost a lot of weight and looking like a wannabe rapper with the baggy clothes gets old. Plus my part time doesn't exactly pay in diamonds.

 

I can only get to a few places with public transport before prices and time consumption gets stupid so my job prospects are pretty grim considering its like the whole city is on the old rock and roll.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Ed the 3rd
well i do think you are brat.

there are more serious issues in the world to complain about.

 

its not like you cant go anywhere its just that your dad is driving you.

woww, how many people wish they had that.

 

you can get a motorcycle or you can go study somewhere else for college,

get a job save your money and get a car.

or take a horse. dammmm

if you use your brain you will find a solution.

Gotta hand it to ya that did make me laugh.

 

No I can not go anywhere. Ever been on someones leash? Well that's me. Want to go to the gym instead of wasting away in your room? Nope dad doesn't feel like it. Same applies to Nights out, social gatherings of any kind and leaving the house in general. And when I am actually out its like I'm on a time limit. I would gladly take public transport but guess what? It doesn't exist! Or its extremely bad and pricey.

 

A motorbike is a fun thought. You know a way to magically get the money to afford that? Including the 200 or so I will need in lessons alone? And yeah I already have a job. Slow process my dear.

 

Judging by your attitude to how easy it apparently is to get a bike, car and even a horse I'm just gonna guess you got a car for your 16th.

Link to post
Share on other sites
well i do think you are brat.

there are more serious issues in the world to complain about.

 

its not like you cant go anywhere its just that your dad is driving you.

woww, how many people wish they had that.

 

you can get a motorcycle or you can go study somewhere else for college,

get a job save your money and get a car.

or take a horse. dammmm

if you use your brain you will find a solution.

 

that actually was a little out of line, there. this guy isn't a brat at all. he's stuck in a no-win situation and is looking for some ideas on how to get out of it. oh, more serious issues, i forgot.

 

people act like it's so easy for everyone to "just get a car, a motorcycle, a job, a horse, etc" because it was so easy for them.

 

i hear you, man. i have plenty of friends who are in the same situation. the only thing i can advise is that you get on good terms with your old man so he starts taking you to productive places. i know it sucks, but if you try and get a crappy job that you can get full time (fast food for instance), you should be able to start hooking up with other people who can start helping you out a little bit, and just keep the ball rolling from there. soon you'll have some friends who will pick you up so you don't have to rely on your old man.

 

just keep at it, keep looking for opportunities.

Link to post
Share on other sites
melodymatters

Here in the states most parents teach their kids to drive and once they deem them competent and they pass the driving test they let them borrow the car here and there. Is this not done where you live or would your father not be willing to help his son grow and learn this important life skill ?

 

In fact here, lazy parents are the one's who especially can't wait until their kids get their drivers licenses !

Link to post
Share on other sites
mrs rubble

My 20yo son also has transport issues. He asks his uni mates to give him a lift home if he's late or going out socializing, sometimes he asks his dad to take him to appointments, sometimes he asks me to drop him at friends, sometimes the grandparents get asked to pick him up.

Mix it up, there must be other people you can ask!

Consider staying at friends places sometimes too instead of harrassing your dad ALL the time.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you do not drive, you cannot expect everyone to taxi you around.

 

I grew up in a suburb with very bad public transit. I still took the bus or taxi when I wanted to get somewhere. I also moved to a huge city where transit is excellent.

 

I have to give medical documentation to possibly get my licence back. I also have some fears to work out because I had screaming driving instructors and an accident which made me scared to drive.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Gotta hand it to ya that did make me laugh.

 

No I can not go anywhere. Ever been on someones leash? Well that's me. Want to go to the gym instead of wasting away in your room? Nope dad doesn't feel like it. Same applies to Nights out, social gatherings of any kind and leaving the house in general. And when I am actually out its like I'm on a time limit. I would gladly take public transport but guess what? It doesn't exist! Or its extremely bad and pricey.

 

A motorbike is a fun thought. You know a way to magically get the money to afford that? Including the 200 or so I will need in lessons alone? And yeah I already have a job. Slow process my dear.

 

Judging by your attitude to how easy it apparently is to get a bike, car and even a horse I'm just gonna guess you got a car for your 16th.

 

How about getting a job in town and moving out of your parents' place?

 

First world problems :rolleyes:

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
How's he supposed to get a job if he doesn't have a way to get there? :confused:

 

He has a job and he gets there. He just needs to find a better one that will allow him some more independence!

Link to post
Share on other sites

You think that's bad I am 31 with my own house and can't get away from them. I even moved to another state but now I am back working in my home state and they know it so they are blowing up my phone asking how I am etc. And since I've been looking at a house in another town they are all hyped up about moving there too.

 

Then there's my grandparents who moved to the other state that I did and live about 2hrs away from me, they are in their 90s and show up occasionally at dinner time wanting to visit.

 

Oh yeah I have a felon idiot druggy brother who wants to move in with me, last time I was working out of state he brought his stuff to my house and let him self in without my knowing it.

 

Sheesh I'd take being 19 and daddy driving me around any day over that, just get a motorcycle or something. If you are an Aussie I remember it being really really flat and straight all you have to do is not hit a kangaroo and you'll be fine.

Link to post
Share on other sites

There's no quick answer, but there's an answer.

 

Make a goal and work toward it.

 

Quit buying clothes (who cares if you look like a rapper... what do you want more - more clothing or a different situation?) and start saving up money for a car or motorcycle or whatever.

 

Talk to your dad about getting your license in the meantime. If he won't take you, talk to a friend, an aunt, a co-worker, etc.

 

It may take a little time to get enough money for a car, but you gotta keep working toward it.

 

If getting out of this situation is your priority, you have to live your life and make your choices in a way that shows it.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Ed the 3rd
How about getting a job in town and moving out of your parents' place?

 

First world problems :rolleyes:

Its apparently easy to get a full time job in a small village now. Great?

 

Where do you people actually live? I want in on this.

 

Also its hardly a first world problem. A first world problem is your steak being overcooked. Not being under house arrest all your life.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Its apparently easy to get a full time job in a small village now. Great?

 

Where do you people actually live? I want in on this.

 

Also its hardly a first world problem. A first world problem is your steak being overcooked. Not being under house arrest all your life.

 

OMG stop complaining and DO something!!!!

Every time someone suggests something you just refute their advice saying that you couldn't possibly...

 

Well, news flash! It's not gonna fall on your lap! If you want something, WORK FOR IT! If you want to be able to be independent, try finding another job. Try finding a second part time job. Get a bicycle! Get a motorbike! Get a car! Move out of your parents house! Do SOMETHING!

 

What are your friends doing? How are they becoming independent? Try following what they've done!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Ed the 3rd
OMG stop complaining and DO something!!!!

Every time someone suggests something you just refute their advice saying that you couldn't possibly...

 

Well, news flash! It's not gonna fall on your lap! If you want something, WORK FOR IT! If you want to be able to be independent, try finding another job. Try finding a second part time job. Get a bicycle! Get a motorbike! Get a car! Move out of your parents house! Do SOMETHING!

 

What are your friends doing? How are they becoming independent? Try following what they've done!

Are you kidding? What advice? I've been told to get a car, a bike and a horse. Or Get another job. I already work my ass off to keep my current part time. My manager has told me many times its an employers world and he doesn't have to settle for anything but the best. On top of the fact the Job situation here is frightful. Its farm land down here.

 

Almost every single person here I have had enough communication with to find out is on the old rock an roll (Government money) or on an apprenticeship which pays them tupens.

 

I work hard. I don't make excuses. I pay my way around this house and deal with circumstances I'm not willing to talk about that would of had other people slitting their wrists. All I'm asking for is help finding a little independence in my life. So please show me a little respect when I say I can't pull a horse or another job out my ass please give me the benefit of the doubt. I do look for other jobs.

Edited by Ed the 3rd
Link to post
Share on other sites

Then I am not sure what you want us to say. We've given you the advice we can. Which is find some independent means of transport so that you don't have to rely on your dad to take you everywhere.

Or ask OTHER people to give you rides.

 

Or, if that is not a possibility, then find another job.

 

You say you can't do any of those things. Then what do you expect us to say??? "oh, here, I have a spare few thousand dollars I don't mind parting with"?!

 

These are the options!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Ed the 3rd

I dunno just thought it was worth asking. It does nobody no harm and people here have a tendency to give some good advice.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, you just didn't need to be so snappy about our responses.

Your bitchiness/sarcasm does you no favours in this instance. We tried helping and giving advice. Throwing it back on our faces when it's not what you want to hear is really not on!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Ed the 3rd

In fairness to myself I only got sarcastic when I was called a brat and the whole "first world problems" thing kicked off. We all have problems, some worse then others and if someone asked me for advice unless it was truly something petty I wouldn't be a total jerk and undermine something that's troubling them quite severely by suggesting that since they aren't starving or in a human trafficking ring they have no right to complain about anything.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Its apparently easy to get a full time job in a small village now. Great?

 

Where do you people actually live? I want in on this.

 

Also its hardly a first world problem. A first world problem is your steak being overcooked. Not being under house arrest all your life.

In a city where there are jobs and accommodation? :confused: My friends who were born in small villages moved to large towns or cities :confused:

Link to post
Share on other sites

I hear you, dude. I feel such an idiot for not getting motivated to start driving earlier, I'm 22 and relying on lifts way more than I'd like. Not to mention the likelihood I'm not going to get any dream job offers any time soon, since I wouldn't be able to get myself to work.

 

How good are your driving skills at the moment? Do you think, rather than just giving you a lift to work, your dad might let you drive instead? With him as a passenger and supervisor of course. If it's a long commute you can get a lot of practice in pretty quickly. That way you may not need to buy as many lessons and can save a bit extra money as well towards a vehicle of your own.

 

And keep a record of your savings and spendings. Try figure out if there's something you can cut back on, even if it feels like a major sacrifice. Even just an extra $10 saved each week gets your $10 closer to your goal. It's an uphill battle, but it can be done. Good luck.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...