I've Had a Lovely Evening...

[venusianx13]

...but last night wasn't it!!!

 

I apologize ahead of time, but I need to vent big time. It would also be helpful if people would assess my reaction to this and tell me if I'm blowing it out of proportion.

 

FIL's are visiting from up north. I'll start from the beginning, Friday, when we were supposed to travel an hour after work to have dinner with H2b's sister's family and his parents (that was their first stop). We had confirmed several times that we'd be there at 6:30, as that was the earliest we could possibly do. That was fine with everyone. We get on the road, and at 6pm, H2B gets a call from his mom asking why aren't we there yet, and everyone is hungry, hurry up. He reiterated that we'd confirmed for 6:30. She went on for a good 5 minutes, berating us for not being there already. I was pretty confused, and at that point thought it might be best if we just turned around. H2B didn't want to disappoint anyone, so continued on... we get more calls. I really didn't want to go at this point. We couldn't get there any faster! Besides, we had confirmed for 6:30. Well, further into our journey, we reached an impasse on the interstate, as there was a very bad accident and we couldn't even make it through. We had no choice at that point but to call and say we wouldn't be able to make it. So, we turned around.

 

Sunday we had arranged for my parents to meet his over dinner. His parents chose a restaurant that was convenient for them (location wise). Fair enough, no big deal. I had mentioned to H2B well prior that we should go dutch. He agreed. The dinner was nice and everyone got along well, but when the bill came, no one from his side offered to contribute. My dad was about to foot the entire bill, and so I ended up putting forth $60 to cover H2B's family. It was awkward, but I let it go because I thought maybe there was some miscommunication about the bill prior to dinner.

 

Last night, I offered to pick up Chinese take out after work to bring to H2B and his parents, as they'd been working on dry wall and other home repairs all day. In the past I've cooked, but when my last meal went ill received by FMIL, I decided take out would be less stressful. Well, they ordered about 8 items and the bill came to well over $50. I had expected that we'd all be chipping in for this, but after dinner, no one offered to reimburse me even partially. At this point, I was feeling pretty upset, because clearly, I am not a wealthy single mom. I had been saving money for this week in order to take my son summer clothes shopping, in fact. FILs, on the other hand, ARE WEALTHY PEOPLE. But you'd never know it. At this point, I'd deem them to be sickeningly attached to their money. I'm not like that...I've learned to make ends meet, and I'm generous when I can afford to be. All of these things, combined, were too much for me to just suck up.

 

I was very quiet the rest of the evening and was feeling upset and taken advantage of. I mentioned to H2B upon my departure that part of the money I had planned on taking my son shopping with had gone to not one, but two dinners for his parents. He said he'd reimburse me this weekend, but didn't seem to fully grasp how I was feeling, like it was no big deal.

 

Okay...thoughts, please? There are a few details, here and there, that I've left out about last evening, but this is already too long. Am I being petty? Irrational? Opinions appreciated.

[Treasa]

Hon, between this and the religion thing, it doesn't seem like your H2B has your back. Are you certain that marrying him is a good choice?

[venusianx13]

It may seem out of place for me to say this now, after my huge rant, but he is the best partner I've ever had. I'm not making excuses, though, there have been a couple of instances where he has not had my back, whether he realized it or not. Aside from these couple of things, though, this relationship is a million times better than any I've had before, especially my previous 6 year relationship with someone who lied and cheated on me incessantly. That said, though, H2B and I are supposed to meet up to talk tonight. His parents are leaving town today, and prior to this, we haven't had adequate time or privacy to iron these things out as they happened, unfortunately. He did admit to me last night on the phone, however, that he doesn't understand his parents' behavior at times (about money, and other things) and that he was sorry I was in that position. He agreed to reimburse me soon, as they are HIS parents. We still have some things to talk about, obviously, and I'm taking today to collect my thoughts.

[venusianx13]

That said, though, I think I need a refresher on effective communication skills, as I tend to become less articulate when I am also feeling emotional. Is there anyone here, married or otherwise, who could share some good techniques with me that I can utilize this evening?

 

Thanks!