Househusbandry

[Esoteric Elf]

Not sure if this or a post similar to this has been made, but here goes.

 

After talking with a girl I know (who is a doctor hopeful), I got to thinking, how would life be like with a slight gender reversal and, furthermore, how many men would not mind it (with caveats?)? For instance, I am currently a retail manager, but also an aspiring author (please don't point and laugh). What if I were to marry a girl, like, say, a doctor (or a woman of any other profession which demands long hours away from home) and myself become a financially viable author, and we have a family. In order for her to pursue her profession and to help raise the family, I could put aside my current job in order to pursue writing full time...and househusbandry. I would tend the house, help raise the children, cook the meals, etc. She would come home at night, stressful as may be, and the meal would be on the table and I could give her a massage, etc.. The thought pleased me, but I am more of a children and homebody person anyway.

 

Question is, how many guys here would do the same? Would you do the same if you had no job? I admit that if I were not employed by some means, I might be less inclined to be a househusband if I were not working on or toward some sort of vocation.

 

Thoughts, or am I alone on this?

[CarrieT]

I had a househusband for almost a decade and, ultimately, if was one of the reasons our relationship failed.

 

In the beginning of our relationship, I was going to school full time for my Masters - working part-time jobs before and after - and he worked nights so he took care of the house during the day and we spent time together on weekends.

 

After I graduated, we moved and I essentially supported him with the idea that he would take care of the house and work on his music (he was an outstanding guitarist, had sold some songs for some decent money, and we invested in various expensive mixing boards and whatnot).

 

A decade later, I was working three jobs to keep our various interests afloat and his musical career was stagnant. I grew resentful at his lack of success or drive and we grew apart in the process. We were never married and didn't have children.

 

Hope this helps.

[carhill]

IMO, no reason why a man can't be a domestic manager. In fact, many men's skillsets lend themselves well for/to it. There's a lot more to being a domestic manager than cooking, doing laundry and massaging feet, especially in a marriage where the couple leads an active social life and is well-positioned financially. Where one spouse is focused on their professional life/career, the other focuses on managing the couple's life work, in addition to either doing or hiring help for domestic responsibilities and/or children. Also, the domestic manager handles the couple's social calendar, family relations and other social obligations. It can be a pretty large and complex job.

 

I'd have no issues with it, fitting in my real estate projects and some designing as appropriate. I set my 'career' up so it's quite easy to be flexible in that regard. Each man is different. Women judge such perspectives as they see fit. Good luck.

[Els]

Admittedly I only know one couple in which the guy is a full-time househusband (as opposed to just working a lower income job). The woman is unhappy because she feels he does not keep on top of the housework as much as he should and she often has to just do it herself when she needs fresh scrubs, etc.

 

Theoretically there should be no issue with your proposition. However one thing that I have noticed is that men tend to be, in general, less meticulous/detail-oriented than women. Obviously, if you fall outside the general norm and are very meticulous, then this does not apply to you. Otherwise you will need to talk to your partner about her opinions on acceptable standards of housekeeping, and try to compromise on them even if you feel some things are unnecessary.