longlegzs80 Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 THis is something that I have been debating for quite some time now. I have 5 half brothers. And I have a father who has never been apart of my life and that I have not seen in over 18 years or so. Anyways, while I was in college my last year and home on one of the breaks, my mother told me that my half brother called who I was told was 12. I have never heard from these people any other time and they decide that they wanted to get to know me when I was going through a very tough year at school. So, I met up with them twice, and with talking to them on the phone and stuff it is obvious that their mother is pushing them to get to know me. The two brothers are 11 and 12 had they told me that they want to get to know their sister meaning me. ANyways, this has had such an affect on me. Big time affect. When I went back to school from vacations, I would keep intouch by emails, but then it pretty much ended when May came around. It could be because I don't have their email address anymore and their email is going to my college account. Anyways, my other half brother who is in his mid 30's came to my house when I was not home and I was up at school and my mother talked to him. She has mentioned everything about the 2 boys getting intouch with me to the way it has affected me just everything and the way the 2 boys' mother is and how when I did come over and visit she along with the kids has mentioned all negative stuff about my other brothers. Now, my brother who is in his mid 30's I have not seen in over 13years. When he came over that one time, he has mentioned to my mom for me to call him if I am interested. The thing is, I am scared to. I want to, and then I don't want to. I just don't want my life to change with all these people who have never wanted anything to do with me in the past to all of a sudden be apart of my life now. But I do want to know who my half brothers are. Should I call my half brother who came over or should I go about my life and not bother with anyone? PLEASE HELP ME.... Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 I think it's normal to feel a bit overwhelmed and anxious in a situation like you describe. It's not possible for me to know if it would be good for you to have these "new" people in your life or not. I do think you have a right to your privacy and personal life no matter if these people are related to you or not. I have two half-brothers that I barely know and have rarely seen and that's pretty much the way I like it. I have too much going on in my life to include these two brothers. The best advice I can give you is to take a lot of time to get to know your half-brothers. You don't have to be swamped with meetings with them. See them one at a time over a long period and along the way decide if they should be part of your life or not. Don't forget they are not your long lost offspring but your parent's. You owe it to yourself to see if they should be part of your life but in my opinion you don't owe them instant family status with you. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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