Really angry and just need to vent

[KikiW]

My father has been a major disappointment to me all my life. I won't bore anyone to tears with all the examples, but suffice to say that times where he should have been a man and protected his little girl, he was a spineless weenie. The times when I deserved to have my feelings validated, I was brushed aside or treated as though I was overreacting. The times when I would have appreciated him just being my dad, I got half-hearted efforts that he then used as proof that he was actually doing something.

 

Well, my wonderful @$$ of a father has totally sent me over the edge. My grandmother, his mother, has been ill for a very long time. A beautiful, strong, refined woman, I know she would have been horrified at what she turned into. Many times I wished for mercy for her and hoped she would pass away peacefully in her sleep. The last few times I saw her, she had no idea who I was.

 

My sister, who is living with my father, updated her Facebook status (around 8pm) to express how sad she was that her grandmother had passed away. Seeing that the status was at least 2 hours old (when I saw it around 10pm), I made the assumption that it was her maternal grandmother (we share father, but she has different mother). I posted to express my condolences, that I didn't realize her other grandmother was ill, and to please pass on my thoughts to that side of her family.

 

At midnight my father leaves a voicemail on my cellphone to please call him, preferably the next morning after 7am. I emailed him almost immediately, asking if he just tried to call. I already knew why he was calling, and was at that point starting to boil and didn't want to speak to him directly. He emailed me around 12:45 to say yes he had called, that my grandmother had passed away around 10pm, and that he would keep me informed.

 

Please note, this was Sunday July 5th.

 

I did not receive any further information. TODAY (July 16th), I get a response to a FB status I made today. He simply mentioned work he's done on his new house and how he misses me and hopes to see me soon.

 

WHAT?

 

My grandmother dies. No one effing calls me to tell me, so I find out the backhanded way through my sister's FB status. I am sure when she saw my post she told my father immediately, who then tried to cover his @$$ by calling. I receive no information about any arrangements (quite frankly this is not surprising since I wasn't told until after my grandfather was buried for a week that he had actually died so perhaps I should count myself luck to know she actually died that day??), I'm sure she's been cremated or buried already but WHO KNOWS REALLY. And he has the brass ones to not tell me anything for 11 days, and then act all chummy like nothing has happened?

 

ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH.

 

ARRRRRGGGGGHHH.

 

Ok done venting.