little sister Posted January 10, 2003 Share Posted January 10, 2003 Hi, How do you start a relationship with a brother that you do not ever remember seeing? My brother remembers me but I do not remember him. He talks to me about when we were kids but it never brings anything back, He tells me that he really wishes that I could remember because we were buddy's,(he has a different mom and we lived on the same street) I have not seen him for years and I recently came back. I am always excited to hear from him and I call him (not as often as I want to). I never know what to say to him, I never can talk about our dad because he does not want any part of that, to say the truth I did not get along with our dad either but finding topics to talk about is quite hard. please help out as I know that there are people on here that have went through this. thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Tolkien Posted January 10, 2003 Share Posted January 10, 2003 I didn't exactly "go though that" but my dad had a daughter with someone other then my mom, and after they divorced my dad moved across the country and lost contact with his daughter. He married my mom and had two "kids" (one of which was me, obviously) and just recently he called her, sent her a Christmas gift, and now they are talking regularly. So I don't really know how to answer your question, but if I were you, just send him birthday cards, Christmas and stuff like that, show him your interested, invite him out to dinner. I am assuming you still live 'near' each other. My dad and his daughter are 15 states apart, but that doesn't stop them, so if thats your situation, don't let it stop you either. Link to post Share on other sites
lilithsfire Posted January 29, 2003 Share Posted January 29, 2003 Sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to fit into the perfect "Family Role," and it seems that you want to be a 'sister.' But first, you have to be a friend. I suggest treating your budding relationship with your brother the way you would treat a relationship with a new next door neighbor. Simply get it out in the open that you can't remember the times you both shared and that neither of you wants to talk about your Father. Then just throw away all notion of "fitting into the brother-sister role" and simply have fun getting to know each other. Go to movies that you like, or find a common interest or activity you can do together. Just hang out, and that will start giving you stuff to talk about. If you aren't close to each other geographically, then find a common interest, like movies or books, and recommend stuff you read or saw--just get the conversation rolling beyond the two of you as 'brother and sister.' Once you have an idea of who each of you is as individuals, you can then move on to getting to know each other as brother and sister. Eventually you'll both hopefully be close enough that you can talk about the things you both aren't yet ready to discuss--like your father. I hope that helps! Link to post Share on other sites
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