Boyfriend's mom rude?

[ARMANI]

Hi,

I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and we have a great relationship. His parents seem to be nice but the other day, his mom farted in front of us and when she was walking right in front of me she let out this loud fart!

 

In 2 years of seeing her this is the first time it happened I felt so embarrassed. Did she farted because she's been rude toward me or she is just so comfy that doesn't care? My guy said that she wouldn't do that in front of her own friends. What do you guys think?

[Tony T]

I think she likes you very much. People don't share their gas with people they don't like...that's much too personal. You have to feel extremely comfortable around somebody in order to fart in front of them without thinking about it.

 

If anybody freely lets out a loud fart in your presence, you can be assured they are very fond of you and very comfortable that you will not judge them or think less of them because of their metabolic processes.

 

The more odorous and the louder the fart, the more the fondness there is for the people who are around at the time of passage of gas. So if the fart made a very loud sound and smelled like hell, you are in great stead with this lady.

 

You should be very proud to have a boyfriend whose mom feels so good about you that she wouldn't think twice about farting in your presence.

 

This is a sure sign she has you picked as the mate for her son!!!

[katybird]

I doubt she did it to be rude towards you. ("I fart in your general direction!") Chances are, it was an accident, and you'd do well to ignore it. You say you've known her for two years... we do sometimes hear our family members fart, and you're probably around her enough to be like family. She may have been having gastrointestinal problems, and so could have just as easily have farted in front of the President... only I hope she doesn't have to feel so embarrassed around you.

[yes]

isnt farting sort of uncontrollable?

i mean sometimes it is, but lotta times - not really

 

so she wasnt rude or not rude... ; it's like asking if she was rude by sneezing in front of you. big deal!

 

i wish everyone's problems were like this!

 

- yes ;P

[Tony T]

It is my feeling that farting, once one reaches the adult stage of human development, is totally controllable...especially in the presence of others.

 

I have found, however, that quite oddly I can pass gas involuntarilly when I am browsing through books at a particular Border's Book Store in my town. It's actually quite amusing to me that all the people in the place have absolutely no idea that I am passing gas in their space and they will most likely feel the effects, ever so molecular, if they stay in the store long enough.

 

What is very difficult is being in a confined area or social situation in which one has to pass gas so badly that it must be let out in spurts...a bit at a time. This is very difficult and requires a great deal of practice.

 

However, even the most prounounced and voluminous fart can be let loose silently in no more than seven increments averaging one discharge every five to 15 seconds, without anyone at all detecting.

 

I stand by my earlier post that the mother passed gas freely and willfully because she felt comfortable doing so and considered her son's girlfriend part of the family. I must qualify that speculation, however, not knowing the particular woman's experience with sequential and incremental farting.

 

Flatulance is nature's way of letting others know what you had to eat before you have to ask.

[Tony T]

In my opinion, one of the worst things you can do is pass gas and blame it on some innocent animal that may be in the vicinity...or worse yet, pretent it was another person.

 

I am a strong believer in taking full responsiblity for my actions and if I pass gas, I claim it in total. If it smells bad, so be it. If it's loud, I proclaim it.

 

It is important that we not brush over such indiscretions but take full blame. If you belch, burp, fart or otherwise have an accident of a biological function, let others know. You'd be surprised at just how understanding they will be!

[yes]

hmm, is something physically wrong w/ me?

 

sometimes i fart unexpectedly... like i dunna its coming until i hear the sound... is this abnormal? perhaps ill have to go to my doc! hehe...

 

but really, i almost never fart - like maybe twice a year... is that abnormal too? perhaps i should be studied as a unique medical case?

 

-yes

[Tony T]

You may want to go to the emergency room immediately....before you fart your brains away!!! I've really seen that happen. I mean if people can get feeble minded by...you know...doing that thing...then I'm sure farting can have a similar effect.

 

We don't want to lose you. Either take some Pepto Bismol, hold in the gas as best you can, or get to the doctor ASAP!!!

 

Farting is a suspected cause of Alzheimers.

[butterflyz]

men just love talking about their farts!!!

[Tony T]

Originally posted by butterflyz

men just love talking about their farts!!!

 

That's because men are proud of their gas and are much better communicators than women. While females like to keep stuff like that inside, men like to pass it and talk about it.

 

Women have many more medical problems because they keep their natural gases locked in their bodies.

 

It's not really that I enjoy talking about farts but rather it's a subject that needs to be opened up for discussion. For too long, people have held this stuff inside. If we are going to improve our lot as a society, we need to talk about farting and many other subjects.

 

Next week, I'd like to discuss the many harrowing experiences I've had on long, country roads far away from civilization and had to do number two any second. Each second seemed like hours. There is no worse feeling in the world than to have belly cramps so bad you can't stand it and be 25 miles from a bathroom. Even worse, to finally get there and have it so filthy you'd be better off soiling your pants.

 

This stuff is important to talk about it. It's the stuff of life. And this forum is about getting into the guts of life and ripping it open so we can discover new horizons for living free in the 21st Century!!!

[Ally Boo]

OMG I can't BELIEVE yall are talking about farts like this! Toilet humor embarasses me for some reason. ANYWAY, yes, you aren't alone. Some people can't ALWAYS control it. In fact, that was my thought when I first read that post. Anyone who has farted during sex knows this....LOL

[Tony T]

Ally Boo Writes: "Anyone who has farted during sex knows this."

 

I can't believe this could happen. How can you possibly concentrate on sex and fart at the same time? That's totally gross. For a lady who doesn't like to talk about bodily functions, you sure can come up with the scenarios.

 

Then again, farting could be the most exciting part of the sexual experience.

[quankanne]

"farting could be the most exciting part of the sexual experience"

 

ONLY IF THE SEX IS THAT BAD!!!!

[Debster]

I can't believe some of you have never heard of farts during sex. In Canada, they are so common, we even have a name for it. I'd include it but I don't know if it would get edited out. Technically, they come from a different region....

[Tony T]

Debster:

 

We are all adults here...just let us know. It's part of our educational experience. If it's too gross, it will get deleted after we see the word. I mean we have to know what to call it!!!

 

By the way, is there a scientific reason why sex farts are so common in Canada? Is there something that exists there that makes them so? Is the diet different?

 

You know, I have noticed in the past when that air flows down from Canada...it does have a weird odor sometimes. Maybe that's the reason.

[Ally Boo]

Tony, its not about concentrating on farting. IT JUST HAPPENS!!! LOL

[HokeyReligions]

Farting during sex: = Front End so Happy - Back End Toot Horn!

 

You all are so funny!!! Here are some guidelines that went around our office a while back. Thought it might fit here.

 

When it's OK to fart in Public:

 

1. In your bosses office as you are turning to leave. Tip-Make sure it's a silent one.

 

2. In a bathroom

 

3. In a cashier's line - it might help to speed up things

 

4. In an empty elevator before you get off

 

5. Next to an occupied changing room - it may quickly become unoccupied.

 

6. In someone elses unoccupied cubicle at work

 

7. While parachuting

 

8. While scuba diving

 

9. In the back seat of a patrol car if you are arrested

 

10. During interrogation if you're the one being interrogated

 

11. In your car if you've been carjacked

 

12. In the changing room when you're sure someone else is waiting their turn.

 

13. In your car once you've been pulled over. The cop may let you go quicker.

 

14. During a pie eating competition to distract your competitors

 

15. While walking down a crowded hallway. Nobody will know who to blame.

 

 

 

 

How to Poop at Work

 

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2001 Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

 

ESCAPEE.

Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

 

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE).

Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

 

COURTESY FLUSH.

Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

 

WALK OF SHAME.

Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

 

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER.

Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

 

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN).

Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

 

SAFE HAVENS.

Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

 

TURD BURGLAR:

Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

 

CAMO-COUGH.

Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

 

ASTAIRE.

Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

 

WATERMELON.

Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

 

HAVANA OMELET.

Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

 

UNCLE TED.

Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

 

FLY BY.

Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

[Patty]

Last summer I was seeing a nearoligist .Then before he asked me some questions he started farting and I mean he let it rip. It was so funny and I had to hold my laughing in.I was sitting there almost burst out laughing,hes lucky I didnt. Then my mother was trying not to laugh cause she heard it too.After the appointment ,we were laughing cause it was hard not to laugh while we were in the room.It was the first time a doctor did that in front of me.

 

Patty