Mom's Not Over My Ex

[whichwayisup]

I'm 25 and almost 100% financially independent

 

You are old enough not to have to lie to your folks about who you see and are in a relationship with. This is THEIR problem so don't make it yours.

 

Just tell them to get over it, that you and the ex are done forever, and that they have to accept that.

 

Give them time to grieve that loss and slowly bring M into your family life so your folks can get to know him better.

[littlekitty]

You've bought this situation on yourself by perpetuating the belief that you aren't completely done with your ex. First thing you need to do is to make that clear to them. It's over, finito, end of. Stop hassling me over it, it's my life to lead.

 

Then you need to arrange for them to meet M so that they can form their own opinion of him based on meeting him, not on the other factors you mention.

 

If you don't want them to control your life in this way, don't hand them all the control.

[stolenheart]

Thanks, guys. Your advice means a lot to me.

 

I know, I should have been more decisive/up front about things. I think after how my parents reacted, I decided that it would be better for all parties involved if I ceased mentioning M. for a while - my mom clearly needed time to get over the dissolution of the relationship, and it wouldn't be fair to M. (or myself) to subject him to so much unnecessary strife that has nothing to do with him as a person.

 

My friends always tell me some variation of "ultimately it's your life and your parents have to deal with it." But what would be a non-asinine way to approach this matter with my family? I know, you don't know my family, but I'm open to ideas. Thanks!