emmaUK Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 other day me and my BF were having dinner out and he asked me if i had ever had anything disturbing happen to me in the past.... i wasnt sure if he meant sexually or not so asked and he said "well anything disturbing" i thought for a minute and then remmeberd a time when i was 11... my mum used to take me roudn a friend of hers house and this friends brother was round there sometimes... he was in his late 30's early 40's id say. one day i was out in the hallway that led to the apartments and he came up behind me and put his arms round my waist and kissed my neck a couple of times.... at the time i knew i didnt like it and felt pretty sick about it and kinda was worried that he fancied me but i said to myself that he couldnt possibly fancy me as i was a kid and he had a wife. after that tried to avoid going round to my mums friends house. i remember i wasnt sure if it was right or wrong so i wrote a letter to a problem page of a magazine and was going to send it off, i left it in my drawer but when i got home from school it was gone.. i knew my mum had found it and prob thrown it away. she didnt mention it though and neither did i. one day i put on a top that was a little low cut and my mum told me to take it off .. iasked why and she spat "u may get men KISSING YOUR NECK" ... i felt ashamed and sick but i wondered why my mum stil wanted to take me round there so felt maybe i was wrong in thinkin he was perving and nothing else was said about it after that id kind of forgotten all about it till my bf asked if anything disturbing had ever happend to me when i was younger. do u think he was perving on me or do u think he was just being kind of father like n cuddly... i know it made me feel sick but to this day i still dont know. what do u think?? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_Bee Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Emma, I'm sorry that you've had to go through this. It was DEFINITLEY inappropriate for that man to touch you the way he did. You were right in feeling that what he did was wrong. What saddens me the most is how your Mother reacted to it. She made it seem that you did something wrong when you were the victim . Did she know who the man was that did this to you from reading your letter? How does she treat you aside from this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Author emmaUK Posted May 22, 2007 Author Share Posted May 22, 2007 hi. i dont know if she would have been able to tell from the letter as i really dont remember what i had written but im guessing she may have had a clue. back then she was a very strict christian in this sort of cult group and i didnt have a very normal childhood from the age of about 6-12... i didnt have or do any of the things all other little girls my age had and i kind of resented my mum for taking everything away from me when i turned 6 and making me abnormal compared with everyone else at school.. she was very hard 2 talk to abotu anything and im guessing she prob thought i was making it up or imagining things ... my parents never beleived much that i said so it was probably another case of this. my BF asked me to ask her about it and why she didnt acknowledge it... but theres no way i can bring it up Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Emma I feel bad for you. This guy definitely did something wrong. And you probably wrote the letter to retaliate against him in the best way an 11 year older knows how. I recently dealt with being molested when I was seven. I thought my mom would believe me but instead she turned it into being about her. "I don't know how as your mother I wouldn't have known it" and crap. And that was the last we spoke of it. Maybe it's just a maternal thing. Maybe your mum doesn't think her instincts would have befriended a guy like him to have around her daughter. So she shifts it off into something you made up? I don't know but they both kind of have the same reaction. Anyway, I hope you're okay. Link to post Share on other sites
DutchGuy Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 The guy was definitely out of order. You should try to leave it behind you though, don't try to dwell on it too much. Feel sorry for the guy. I would be the most upset with my mom, but she just did what she thought was best at the time, I reckon. Seems like every girl I ever personally asked has been taken advantage of at some point. Very disturbing actually. Link to post Share on other sites
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