fomerlyniceguy Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Ok. So the stbxw packed up her stuff the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and moved out. I too am in the process of getting my things together to move in 3 days. I saw her briefly the next day when she came to get some stuff with her mom. We were cordial, but it was akward she didn't say much. I had a talk with her mom and she gave me a hug and said she loved me(her mom not my x). Anyway that night I was sitting among all of my boxes packing and thinking. I realized that I am not sure I love my wife anymore either, in fact it has been a long time since I had. I was still in love with the idea of what I wanted us to be, but it had been a long time since we were on that path together. We were a couple that sat in the same room me watching television her reading a book and completely ignoring each other. I am not sure how, why or when I lost it but I am pretty sure it was gone. I wasn't sure when we stopped trying, but we had. In a way it made me even sadder than the thought of losing her. Had it died a natural death or had we given up? Anyone else been through this sort of thing? fng Link to post Share on other sites
trickynj99 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 FNG I am going thru it right now... my wife and I are separating after the holidays, we have 2 kids.right now its amicable and she says she has lost her love for me...we've been thru an absolutley brutal 9 months since this disclosure and yesterday for the 1st time i was cleaning my kids room, looked at picture and burst into uncontrollable tears for about an hour...family was in the house and i avoided seeing the kids but wife was there for some of it.. the thing is you put into words what i was crying about. I'm looking at my kids and her smiling in the picture and i am so in love with that fantasy and i'm wondering about how i feel for the first time..this caused an unreal flow of sadness and emotion in me For me, your post hits right to the heart of what is wrong with us... we are not at the divorce stage yet, but that is our current direction, if so, it will be for EXACTLY what you pointed out , both of us more in love with the fantasy of what our lives could be and ignoring each other in the real world. At this point i think she has given up,, i beleive in the concept of choosing to love somebody (of course if she doesnt it really doesnt matter) and want to try again.. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author fomerlyniceguy Posted November 28, 2005 Author Share Posted November 28, 2005 I hope however your situation ends it is for the best. We seem to feel like whatever is comfortable to us is what is best, but isn't always the case. Even though I still have some feelins for my wife I want the best for her, I care for her, and want her to be happy I don't feel that all consuming passion anymore. I feel she and I both deserve that, maybe she just saw it first. Who knows what the future will bring for my soon to be ex and I, I believe it could happen again. I am amazed how much I have changed in just the last 2 months, Whatever happens I know I have learned from my mistakes and will do better next time, with whoever that might be. fng Link to post Share on other sites
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