Zetter Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 my wife and I separated 3 weeks ago. she claims to love me but not be "in love" with me. She claims that there just isn't the spark for me that she used to have. She is very honest and has told me of feelings for another man, but that was not the impetus for the separation I assure you. We decided together to not endanger our marriage any further with infidelity. we have decided to take a month apart without contact to see where it heads. Any suggestions, insight? Has anyone tried this and does it rekindle any spark? The last thing she told me was that it would be very hard for both of us, but necessary. For whatever that's worth. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 my wife and I separated 3 weeks ago. she claims to love me but not be "in love" with me. She claims that there just isn't the spark for me that she used to have. She is very honest and has told me of feelings for another man, but that was not the impetus for the separation I assure you. We decided together to not endanger our marriage any further with infidelity. we have decided to take a month apart without contact to see where it heads. I hate to tell you this Zetter, but she wants to 'explore' her feelings with this other man. He's probably been in the picture longer than she's let on. People don't "just" fall out of love all of a sudden. She does love you but right now this OM (other man) has her attention and that is where her focus is. She won't tell you any of this as now the separation is in swing... What you need to try to do is think back to when you noticed things changing. This isn't a shot at you, cuz really, it's not about you, it's about her and issues she has... What I'm saying is, can you see in any way that maybe she was feeling neglected by you? She has allowed this OM into her life somehow and has become emotionally attached to him. He's making her feel good in a way that you couldn't. Again, it's not your fault, but she's making a huge mistake by taking this route... Marriage counselling is the way to go. To work together to find out what is missing from the marriage, what she isn't getting from you and why she's feeling the need to look outside the marriage for some excitement. What she feels for OM is that new crushlike feeling, that intense rush and excitement. Sadly, that feeling dwindles in marriages and long term relationships, and settle into a more relaxed and daily life routine - So that "intensity" isn't there as often. I hope what I'm saying makes sense to you... Anyway, if you love her and want her then fight for her. Don't let this OM take your wife's heart. Suggest the marriage counselling and together work on the marriage. Hope this helps, and keep posting! Link to post Share on other sites
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