LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Separation and Divorce

Why does my ex seem so cold?


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

Like Tree5Likes
  • 2 Post By Marc878
  • 2 Post By preraph
  • 1 Post By SevenCity
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 27th January 2018, 1:49 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 57
Why does my ex seem so cold?

I've only been divorced a week, but I had to meet up with her to finalize some things.
She just seemed differnt. She came across just empty, like there was nothing behind those eyes. Id ask questions and she wouldn't answer. Just give me a cold blank stare.
I mean, we both went through this together, and I mean... I still have heart, I still have empathy.
She's the opposite. She's turned off everything.
Something seemed differnt with her like she was lost, an empty shell.
She's already moved on with someone else, so I know her changing her mind wasn't on her agenda.

I'd be concerned normally, but it's no longer my place.

Does anyone have any idea why she may be acting this way?

Maybe a female perspective?

Thanks.
Myasylum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th January 2018, 2:03 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 57
There was a point were we were talking about the kids and how terrible it was splitting them up. I was the one actually getting emotional... somewhat intentional to try to pull some kind of emotion out of her. There was nothing. Just blank stares.
Myasylum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th January 2018, 2:27 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Marc878's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,347
You don't get it. This is who she is. You mean nothing.

What are you expecting?

You should be going your own way and no contact with her except text or emails.

She dumped you for another man. Don't expect her to change. Or you'll just get constant dissapointment.

Time for you to move on like she has.
Marc878 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th January 2018, 2:37 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 188
I am a female and I feel empty. We had a nine-year relationship (not married, no children). He started dating someone else and then wanted me back. I feel empty when he wants to see me now.


Maybe I am unconsciously protecting myself.


Did you do anything to degrade her and make her resent you?


Perhaps the whole divorce process made her cold.
primer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th January 2018, 3:12 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 18,142
This is how she moves on. She's detached herself. She was in the marriage too, so she's had plenty of time to notice what was wrong with it and dwell on those things. Now she's detaching herself and trying to just move on. It is probably an effort for her, but it's actually a healthy way of dealing with change, accept it and move on. She may still break down, but if she's really hurt, she'll likely do that in private and not share anything like that with you again.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th January 2018, 11:42 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,794
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myasylum View Post
I've only been divorced a week
I'd bet she's been emotionally gone from the marriage a lot longer than that. In these types of things, one spouse is usually ahead of the other...

Mr. Lucky
__________________
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." - Epicurus
Mr. Lucky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th January 2018, 11:56 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 2,378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Lucky View Post
I'd bet she's been emotionally gone from the marriage a lot longer than that. In these types of things, one spouse is usually ahead of the other...

Mr. Lucky
Exactly. The person who leaves has a head start on the healing. She's already grieved the relationship and found someone new.

You are nothing but a bother to her now. It's not her way of dealing, she simply doesn't care.

Once her rebound fails she may get upset.

But all you can do is move on and understsnd you will never be with her again.

Sucks - hang in there brother.
SevenCity is offline   Reply With Quote
 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:40 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.