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Question for middle aged (40 somethings) that are divorced dads


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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Old 26th October 2017, 12:45 AM   #16
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Hi Folks, I guess I am hardly qualified to open my mouth here being from another universe as far as most folk on this forum are concerned. However I thought I'd chip in with something that I have increasingly heard about in the last decade or more. What I have heard discussed is that women have come out increasingly from the woodwork, shedding their modest good girl image and are now pursuing men with probably the same vigour that men were used to displaying in days of yore. I think one of the reasons that there is a rising trend of affairs and infidelity especially with regard to women may be attributable to this phenomenon. Women no longer think that they should wait for a man to make the first move and will often 'hit' on a man irrespective of whether he is single or married if he signifies something that is attractive to them.

Having said that, I have also read that divorced and widowed older women are also on the hunt for a good and dependable man to share their life with. These women, while not exactly desperate, are more open to connecting with men who, like them, are widowed or divorced and are looking for a companion. I may be wrong and I know that this is a generic trend and will not be applicable to individual women who may have their own criteria for selecting a man who fits the template they have in mind. Hope this helps the discussion to keep going forward. Warm wishes.
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Old 4th November 2017, 10:27 PM   #17
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Hi Folks, I guess I am hardly qualified to open my mouth here being from another universe as far as most folk on this forum are concerned. However I thought I'd chip in with something that I have increasingly heard about in the last decade or more. What I have heard discussed is that women have come out increasingly from the woodwork, shedding their modest good girl image and are now pursuing men with probably the same vigour that men were used to displaying in days of yore. I think one of the reasons that there is a rising trend of affairs and infidelity especially with regard to women may be attributable to this phenomenon. Women no longer think that they should wait for a man to make the first move and will often 'hit' on a man irrespective of whether he is single or married if he signifies something that is attractive to them.

Having said that, I have also read that divorced and widowed older women are also on the hunt for a good and dependable man to share their life with. These women, while not exactly desperate, are more open to connecting with men who, like them, are widowed or divorced and are looking for a companion. I may be wrong and I know that this is a generic trend and will not be applicable to individual women who may have their own criteria for selecting a man who fits the template they have in mind. Hope this helps the discussion to keep going forward. Warm wishes.
i am a male. in my view, anything is possible. from what i see though -- and I live in a very big metropolitan city that has a lot of immigrants -- the great majority of people seem to come across as very conservative and very attached to their families. i dont see them hitting on men at all. it almost seems like they are from a very different era when what women were like when i was in my 20s chasing women.

just my 2 cents.
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Old 5th November 2017, 4:01 PM   #18
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This whole "game" thing and sleeping with 30 women seems so inauthentic.

But hey if it works it works.

Just off a break up in 8 years I've only dated 4 girls.

The last being a model. It was really scary and tough. One night stands left me feeling more empty.

Id want another long term relationship. And sleeping with alot of girls would hamper my goals.

Then Id have to accept a girl who slept with alot of guys and thats not what Im looking for.

Good luck everyone.
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Old 5th November 2017, 6:59 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Just a Guy View Post
Hi Folks, I guess I am hardly qualified to open my mouth here being from another universe as far as most folk on this forum are concerned. However I thought I'd chip in with something that I have increasingly heard about in the last decade or more. What I have heard discussed is that women have come out increasingly from the woodwork, shedding their modest good girl image and are now pursuing men with probably the same vigour that men were used to displaying in days of yore. I think one of the reasons that there is a rising trend of affairs and infidelity especially with regard to women may be attributable to this phenomenon. Women no longer think that they should wait for a man to make the first move and will often 'hit' on a man irrespective of whether he is single or married if he signifies something that is attractive to them.
I am in my late 40s and haven't heard this, though it may have contributed to the increase in cheating among women. Of course, men have been doing it forever. I think part of it is that women are less likely today to sit back and take the crap that men have been dishing out.

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Having said that, I have also read that divorced and widowed older women are also on the hunt for a good and dependable man to share their life with. These women, while not exactly desperate, are more open to connecting with men who, like them, are widowed or divorced and are looking for a companion. I may be wrong and I know that this is a generic trend and will not be applicable to individual women who may have their own criteria for selecting a man who fits the template they have in mind. Hope this helps the discussion to keep going forward. Warm wishes.
I agree with this, but many find themselves partially broken from such relationships or relationships that have come after the initial breaks. Many suspicious and jaded minds out there and dating in general is made so much more complicated and unpredictable.
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Old 6th November 2017, 3:51 PM   #20
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For those men >40.. who had to get back into dating again. What did you do with regards to learning how to date again? where do you pickup tips on how to talk and how to dress again?

I haven't dated in ages and the world seems to have changed a great deal.

Are most of the women you met only looking for casual?

my hopes down the road are to attract the type of woman i always wanted to be with but they never were attracted to me. this is the problem i got myself into and now i am paying for it. i should have held out for "the one" that i was madly in love with. i attracted the type of women where there was a sexual chemistry but i didn't really love her with all my heart .. and in retrospect i think the feeling was reciprocal. now i am paying the price for it.

i want to befriend the type of women i always wanted but who was never much interested in me and try to develop a real friendship and connection and something substantial before i decide to go to bed with her and/or pursue a relationship.
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