Maryna Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 (edited) We are married for 7 years. Our marriage always was up and downs. I am always alone, I call myself single-married. He is farmer and engineer. It was a lot emotional abuse, we did not talk besides about chores around house and what is for supper. In those 7 years it was a lot of moments which gave me grief. He did not support me as husband, I always felt like he need only women in house to take care of his house, cook meal, and sex. I have left him 2 years ago, went to shelter, but then come back (stupid action). Finely,I could not handle any more and left. We decided to give time each other and think. Sometime we are like dating, he help me organize my new place. So, we live like this for two month already.When I asked him so what is our options, do we divorce? He said "I do not know". We decided to do list what we want, our desires. And then we will read and discuss if it is acceptable. So, we still did not decide yet. But he has sisters, one of them has very close relationship with my husband. She came from other state two years ago and became very involved in life of my husband. I heard nearly every day"I love you, sis". But I did not hear this already a few years, I told him that it offend me. When she lived in other state, he answered me "she lives far away, but you are here. Now she live 20 min away , he just do not say anything. Even when I still lived with him, she did his laundry, even did mine, cleaned our house, even washed my shaver. I told him I do not like it, but nothing changed. Now , when I just one week as I left, she come do everything. I heard what his other sister said "she want to be sure he has clean house, hot meal, she even plant flowers on my flower bed. Though we still thinking and see each other sometimes. I also heard that it will be her nightmare if I come back. First he was agree just separate and I could buy my own house, then he suddenly changed his mind and said "only divorce and no house". He even give me only 9K. I am not fighting. I am so tired of this marriage, I just want out. But now he is playing games, he does not know what he want. Right now I do not know how to react to her help to my husband. I do not mind if we would be divorce already and never see each other, she can take care of him. But my name is still on this house, I plant garden, I come to my house It is look like she want to force him to see me as bad wife, who does not know how to keep house. who left him. Maybe I am overreacting? Is it OK sister-in-law act like she is wife, while we are living in different houses and do not allow him to think and make decision. He does not have any motivation to change anything, he get everything what he need. I am mad and do not know should I let him know that I do not like it or it will do things harder. Then he need to choose if he want to be with me or with his sister. I do not know what to do. Sorry for my English, it is my second language. Edited May 15, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Superchicken Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 I am so tired of this marriage, I just want out. . You have answered your own path to take. See a lawyer in your town/country, and see what is your options. But, you have nothing but bad times when you are at the house. Do not worry too much about what your Sister in law is doing. Live your life while you are seeing the lawyer. Then, when it is time, you can finalise divorce, and move away from this house of failures. It is clear, and you already knew, that he only needed a maid, and a little sex when he felt like it. So hopefully, this will motivate you to proceed. Good luck. Ted. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 I know you're beat down and tired, but you got get a lawyer, a family lawyer. Right now. That house is half yours. He can sell it and give you the money if needed. I know you're depressed and unable to think straight and make decisions, so I'm telling you go get a family attorney (he'll take a bit of your settlement) and let HIM worry about it all. You'll feel SO much better. Go! Make an appointment right now or drive there and make an appointment if you don't want it on your phone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 Yes see an attorney about getting the money for half of your house. Why worry about what his sister is doing to take care of him since you are going to divorce anyway she will soon be out of your hair. Him being a farmer with a job he needs help. At least she is doing the upkeep on the house which bodes in your favor when you put it up for sale or he pays you your half. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maryna Posted May 16, 2017 Author Share Posted May 16, 2017 We are married for 7,5 years. Now I live separete and want legal separation to get 10 year's of marriage. He want divorce and delay hearing until we will have 10 years. My question is-does it still considered as martiage if we filed for divorce and I have different address ? Does it possible to delay hearing for 2,5 years? He said yes. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 https://faq.ssa.gov/link/portal/34011/34019/Article/3754/What-is-the-eligibility-for-Social-Security-spouse-s-benefits-and-my-own-retirement-benefits Generally (pay a lawyer for specific legal advice) a couple is married until the marriage is dissolved via lawsuit or one or both of the spouses dies. Does Wisconsin, or the SSA, treat a legal separation as a dissolution for all intents and purposes? That's what a lawyer can answer. Also, be sure you have a legal separation. It involves much the same settlement agreements and paperwork as a divorce in most jurisdictions. The main difference is divorced people are allowed legal remarriage and separated people are not. Everything else, like financial stuff and custody stuff, etc, is handled just like a divorce. Do you have that? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 This question is too important and too dependent on your particular facts for it to be appropriate to seek advice here. Please take your question to a qualified lawyer, who will ask all the right questions (including some you haven't thought of) and give you informed advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 Great advice. The real value of a lawyer in these instances isn't answering your questions, it's asking the questions that didn't even occur to you. OP, it will be the best money you've ever spent... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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