Liftedfog Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 (edited) I was married for 20 years. I eventually had to leave my ex because he was showing signs of psychosis and it was not safe for me and the children to live with him. In a psychotic rage, he choked me. Anyway, I have since received sole custody of the children. He is unemployed with no insight and doesn't pay child support. The only way he can see the children is at a supervised access center but he has not seen the kids in three years. It is all part of his paranoia of being spied on so he doesn't want to go to the center. There is no other option for access for the kids for him and I need to ensure they are safe around him. Anyway, my fear is he will come after me for spousal. What is the likelihood of a judge awarding him this. I am so afraid that if this happens I will not be able to support myself and the children. I don't make enough to keep him kicking around. If he can't work, he should be applying for disability. But he won't go that route. That would mean he would be under a doctor's care and that feeds his current paranoia that the doctors and government are controlling him. What he needs is anti-psychotic meds. The chance of this happening are slim. Three years now and he refuses to see he is sick. Your help and feedback is appreciated. Edited March 17, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
SaveYourHeart Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Highly unlikely. But I would get a protective order to keep him away from y'all. I'm not understanding the timeline, have you already divorced or are you just separated? Is there a court document stating that you have sole custody? Is it temporary or permanent? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liftedfog Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 Thanks for your reply. I do have a protective order keeping him away from all of us. I am currently separated and my lawyer is currently working on the divorce and division of assets (we just sold the marital home). I already have a court order granting me sole custody. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 I don't see how anyone can advise you. You haven't included where you live or the amount of your income. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Spousal support for men is very unusual in the US these days. If you don't live in the US, OP, what are the stats for men in your country? Around here, men are generally deemed to be employable if able-bodied and not declared mentally incompetent. If not employable, then they qualify for some sort of disability assistance from the government. If employable, it's super rare that they would receive spousal support unless they've been a stay at home parent for significant time and need a period of transition. I personally don't know anyone like that. I was caregiving at the time of our D and my exW earned far more than myself and they would have laughed me out of court on an alimony claim, not that I would have brought one. Get another job carhill, you're a man. That's pretty much it. Good luck and my sympathies regarding the mental illness. Know that path well. Welcome to LS Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 I would check your local area for advice since this varies so much. In my area they wouldn't drop a request for spousal if he filed for it unless he had get a DV conviction. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Since you say spousal support rather than alimony I'll assume you're in the UK, although what I'll say probably applies to most other places too. If you can't afford to pay spousal support, and have kids to look after, then no court in the land can possibly order you to pay it! It comes under the "can't get blood from a stone" clause. If you have no money to give, then you can't be ordered to give any. You could always see a solicitor to get a professional opinion. Many do a free initial consultation so you really do have nothing to lose. Getting a professional opinion will put your mind at rest, and if your ex does start some frivolous litigation, it will give you a head-start in the process. There's really no down-side, it's win-win so I'd definitely advise you to see one. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Spousal support for men is very unusual in the US these days. I paid spousal to my XH. When I was divorcing, my attorney had several cases like mine. It depends on the area. It's pretty common where I live. And there are men who will claim it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 the entitlement to spousal support is dependent on the length of the marriage, the lifestyle the couple enjoyed while they were together, the dependent spouses' earning potential & the payer's earning potential (meaning if you are a CEO you can't take a job for minimum wage then cry you only have to pay a small amount). Any amount of money the Court deems the dependent spouse could earn may be deducted from the payor's obligation. Thus if he could get disability for X dollars; you are allowed a credit for that amount, showing that his need is not as great as he claims. Do speak to a local lawyer about this. Link to post Share on other sites
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