jaimster Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 hey folks . this afternoon my wife of 10 years told me she is not happy becoming more miserable each day.. I told her if that's the case she needs to look for happiness . cause of unhappiness no kids , I wasn't able to .. had a vascecptomy after my first divorce . big MISTAKE I guess .. .. having a family its what she always wanted . guess I knew this day would come sooner or later .. for sometime I felt neglected too always did the cooking my self trying to eat healthy and staying fit too .. our age its 53 and she is 34 also was never satisfied sexually always satisfying her it became my unhappiness always thought if we had kids IT Would be worse our sex life.. I have been out of work for 7 months now . I ve been buying cars from auction fixing them up and selling them always mange to stay bussy doing something even if I'm not working a regular job . I bought this house cash . proceeds last house I sold ..before we got married and I pay all the bills I feel sad , broken hearted and relief mixed emotions I don't have any friends here nor family just my two sons from last marriage they don't live with me and yea and my roomate I would like to get divorce as quick as possible and she agrees too how long do I wait before I can start filing papers , she is not contesting the house which I bought before we got married not much money or retirement Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 cause of unhappiness no kids , I wasn't able to .. had a vascecptomy after my first divorce . big MISTAKE I guess .. .. having a family its what she always wanted Did you keep the vasectomy a secret from her? Absent reversal surgery, how did she think you were going to have children together? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaimster Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 no ! she knew when we got together coming off a nasty divorce when i met her.. i was going to have reversal surgery a couple of years ago . she didnt wanted me too.. i think its more than that . i have an 25 year old son with lots of problems .. disabilities mental illness she once told me quote " i married you not your kids " that hurt .. i have two sons one 19 in college the other 25 on disability .. they dont live with me though. i think she's had enought.. i dont blame her i dont hold any resentments or bad feelings like i mentioned . i think some weird way im glad she took that decision and i didnt leave her even though ive had plenty of opportunities.. Link to post Share on other sites
Bee4Shine Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 You sound like a nice guy. Is it only the children issue that causes your wife's unhappiness? Why are you feeling neglected? Is there some emotional issue that you and your wife are struggling with? She knew you had a Vasectomy when she married you, and she wanted children then and still married you? It must not have been a deal breaker. She wants children, you feel neglected and it spirals from there. Have you guys considered marriage counseling? It might help both of you really find out who you are and why you are struggling, rather than unknowns. You can start on a new path. I know it is difficult - but most things that are worth it are difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaimster Posted October 23, 2016 Author Share Posted October 23, 2016 thanks for responding Bee4shine ! i dont think there is any point on seeking counseling .. she wants her own kids . she once mentioned " we are not a family cause we dont have any kids" i love her . i want her to be happy if thats whats gonna make her happy. as i said earlier i have a 25 year old son , that has always looked for my help he has struggled with severe ADD and now other mental problems , think she got tired of that too.. dont blame her he is my son! she also told me not too long ago " i married you NOT your two sons" it hurt .. i felt neglected for a long time . working my butt off always doing stuff around the house taking care of the cars , cooking , cleaning up the house and being faitfull , had plenty of chances ! i didnt go out hanging out with guys other going to bars. im also a very sexual person .. felt very unsatisfied in that area too.. i purchased this house before we got married cash , had that money them. so we had no mortgage payment .. i paid all property taxes and monthly bills guess for a long tiime .. i started having second thoughts whether it was worth it .. im paying all that bills she always worrying about her family in Mexico! sending money there and wahting to go visit her family there.. which she did several times over the years.. i talked to her last week we agreed to get divorce started .. maybe an online service , since we both agree there is not much money from my part im not even working , just the house and that was my before we got married she is making more money that i m . . any sudgestions for an oline divorce service ?? Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 So she was only 24 when you married her while you were 43 and hitting middle age. I think when middle aged guys marry very young women they need to be aware that there's a good chance it won't last. New studies say the brain isn't fully developed until about the age of 25 so your wife may not have been a fully mature adult when you first took up with her. If you are both on the same page regarding divorce then file as soon as you legally can. In Canada couples must be separated for 1 year before they can divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaimster Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 i realize age difference ! guess i have been waiting for this sooner or later . NO suprise there.. i hope she finds what she is loooking for . any online divorce service recomendations? Link to post Share on other sites
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