I must let her go! but its so hard!

[regret143]

I know for sure I am not the kinda man she thinks she deserve. She is the Icon of self entitlement. I believe that is the reason I caused so much trouble and pushed all her buttons.

Yes I admit, all of our fights happened because I pushed her buttons. And she is tired of it, so she gets really angry, really fast, and thing goes from "You chated on me, whore" (me to her) to "I'm going to kill you" (her to me, while chasing me with a knife).

 

No one will ever disagree that we are toxic. Can I cope with the loss? No.

I am falling apart.

 

On top of everything, she was careless with our finances, so I'm behind 3 months on mortgage. I barely can afford to eat let alone seek counseling. I still have a retainer with the lawyer, so I still can get the divorce.

 

I never cry. or never did. Now I'm a wreck. I wish I had stronger thoughts of suicide, because at this point, rationally, seems to be the best solution.

 

I have no one to talk to. If I talk to my mom, she gets so upset, I end up having to cheer her up, my sister has chronic depression. My dad would be perfect, but he is somewhere else, proving to me that "the deceased are looking after you from heaven" is BS, he wouldn't let this happen.

 

I got to go outside.

[redrock1]

I'm so sorry you're facing this loss. I know that going through a separation/divorce is heartbreaking, no matter what the reasons. So, know that you're not alone. Also, I'd really encourage you to seek our some support around you. If you can't afford counseling, maybe look into a support group? DivorceCare is one group I know of that meets throughout the country. Or, if you ever really feel like you may be contemplating suicide, there's always the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK) available for a listening ear. But just don't go through this alone. Having someone to lean on can make a huge difference. And, in the meantime, know that someone out there is praying for you!

[regret143]

I'm so sorry you're facing this loss. I know that going through a separation/divorce is heartbreaking, no matter what the reasons. So, know that you're not alone. Also, I'd really encourage you to seek our some support around you. If you can't afford counseling, maybe look into a support group? DivorceCare is one group I know of that meets throughout the country. Or, if you ever really feel like you may be contemplating suicide, there's always the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK) available for a listening ear. But just don't go through this alone. Having someone to lean on can make a huge difference. And, in the meantime, know that someone out there is praying for you!

 

I like the idea of a support group, but i don't know if a religious based is a good fit for me.

[m.snow]

i don't know how hard it must be for you. your situation is unique to me since you have an open marriage. but i believe you should continue to work on yourself. things will get better they always do. ending you life or anyone else's wont solve anything. this is when they say that life is hard and crisis like this are just part of life, your are not alone thousands of marriage face similar problems and almost all of it gets sorted out.

 

i suggest follow the lawyers advice. best to make the divorce as amicable as possible.

 

try your best to quell the rage in your heart. you know and believe that somehow your wife cheated. No need to point it out in her face everyday.

avoid confronting her. if she starts to be verbally aggressive pull away leave for a while till things calm down. try your best to communicate in a more assertive manner.

you have called the cops on this problem. to many times already, i sincerely believe that you can resolve this without being confrontational.

Best to move along your path and disconnect. Try not to communicate with except with the most essential of daily life needs.

 

try and get some counseling, yes it would be expensive but try to look around to find cheaper ones or just look through the web.

Edited September 7, 2015 by m.snow

[regret143]

i don't know how hard it must be for you. your situation is unique to me since you have an open marriage. but i believe you should continue to work on yourself. things will get better they always do. ending you life or anyone else's wont solve anything. this is when they say that life is hard and crisis like this are just part of life, your are not alone thousands of marriage face similar problems and almost all of it gets sorted out.

 

i suggest follow the lawyers advice. best to make the divorce as amicable as possible.

I'm trying for both reasons: keep me a chance to reconcile (knowing I shouldn't) and make things financially easy, since I am really tight on money and her dad can get her a A team of lawyers and wouldn't even dent his finances. They would win by exhausting me financially.

 

try your best to quell the rage in your heart. you know and believe that somehow your wife cheated. No need to point it out in her face everyday.

avoid confronting her.

It is a established fact that she cheated on me. Everyone knows.

if she starts to be verbally aggressive pull away leave for a while till things calm down. try your best to communicate in a more assertive manner.

you have called the cops on this problem. to many times already, i sincerely believe that you can resolve this without being confrontational.

Doesn't seem to be a problem anymore. She moved in with friends that are super level headed and now she has to maintain the image that she is also. She is there as the "poor abused wife", even tho she attacked me countless times, went to jail for assault, sent me to hospital, followed by surgery and six months of physical therapy.

 

Best to move along your path and disconnect. Try not to communicate with except with the most essential of daily life needs.

It's so hard... I have absolutely no one.

 

try and get some counseling, yes it would be expensive but try to look around to find cheaper ones or just look through the web.

I was in counseling, but ran out of $$ (for the 20.00 copay, yes, im broke)

[redrock1]

I like the idea of a support group, but i don't know if a religious based is a good fit for me.

 

Hi friend~

Well, I can understand that. And I know finances are tight, but do you think the counselor you saw might have some support group recommendations in your area to offer you? Might be worth a shot. Also, sometimes even places like community centers or the YMCA can offer support groups. So, that may be worth checking into as well. Just a couple thoughts...