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Looking for hope


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Southernbelle1977

Hi everyone. A few years ago I rekindled with my high school sweetheart, fell in love, got hitched, all that jazz. The day our honeymoon began we got word my father had terminal cancer. It would be a long year of watching th e cancer eat him alive. In this time frame, we also opened our home to foster care. We should have focused on us and my dad, but we felt strong. We weren't. A year, a death, and 10 traumatized kids later my husband has fallen out of love and wants a divorce.

 

He wants to continue wearing our rings because we are still married. Doesn't want me to seek comfort elsewhere because it would hurt him, but says without a doubt he does not foresee him regaining any romantic feelings gs for me again. I feel he is being selfish. I don't want to screw up any future chance we have, but we've been sex less for a year and I'm hurting and grieving and need intamcy. Why does he care if I'm faithful when he is so certain he will never love me again???

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Southernbelle1977

I know you are right.

 

Why does he care who I am with or where I am at though?? I've been hurting for over a year and need comfort from someone....anyone. when he asks me not to, it gives me hope. He says he would like those feelings to come back again, but doesn't think they will.

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Sorry to say, you should file for a divorce. Sounds like too many pressures were a part of your marriage right from the start. And if he says he can't love you again, you need to move on and try to find love and intimacy elsewhere. No point in waiting around for something unlikely to happen. He does not really have the right to tell you what you can and can't do in the meantime, but that is a whole other issue. You probably should not be thinking about any kind of imtimate relationship at the moment anyway. Get completely out of this one first, or at least obtain a separation pending divorce, depending upon laws where you live.

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