Nightmare divorce I saw coming

[mortensorchid]

I thought I would share this story because it goes to show how foolish many of us can and cannot be when it comes to love and not thinking clearly. And, when one is so self centered and how not right that is.

 

 

I had this friend who I will call Kate. She and I had known each other for a few years, she was hanging onto a guy who I will call Ed. Ed is a perpetual bachelor and will remain so, Kate was a bit, let's just say, unrealistic about things with them. Ed dates a lot of women and he choses to not be with anyone exclusively and will remain a bachelor for his whole life. Kate, partially in her depression over Ed's not coming around for her and her non stop partying, became a rather horrible alcoholic in the process. Skipping over all the times that me and others came across her antics, helped her out, and ended up forgiving certain situations, it was a rather dramatic road.

 

 

One day about seven years ago, Kate met this guy I will call Bob. From what I remember of him, Bob was a good guy (as I have not seen him in a few years now). She and Bob dove headfirst into it, and the next thing you know, they are moving in together after four months of dating. I said to her not to do that. They hadn't even known each other for six months, they barely knew each other, and they were in the infatuation stage not the actual love stage yet. She did not listen. In the meantime she started going to AA meetings and was sobering up. Next thing you know, she gets pregnant and they are getting married. Many who attended their wedding after their first child was born were wondering why me and my other friend who I will call Mike were not there. We were not invited. We were too close to Ed and she wanted to distance herself. Needless to say, our tentative relationship came to an end.

 

 

Five years later and a second child later, their marriage collapsed into a complete and utter nightmare. Much of Kate's alcoholism and depression was centered around before her not getting married and having babies. That switched when she met Bob and had the two with Bob, but the true source was that she was not getting married and having babies with Ed, I found out. Because her alcoholism took over again, and she also took up with Ed again and cheated on Bob with him. I could not believe that she was so horrible to do such a thing to a good man like Bob, especially one who loved her as much as he said he did. Bob tried to commit suicide last Christmas over it. After he recovered, he announced he wanted a divorce.

 

 

So sad. The lesson here is practice caution and get to know the person you're going to be with over time, no rebounding.

[StalwartMind]

Sad indeed, although everyone can be clever in hindsight, few will admit when they are wrong. I've seen similar things myself, in the end humans will be humans and we can't control how others think or act. This is probably for the best, but at times you do wish that people would act differently, for their own good as well as others. Bob didn't deserve this but it's certainly a classic and also a reminder of how no matter whom we are with or choose to put our trust in, humans have a remarkable ability to corrupt and break each other. All the more reason to actually treat each other with kindness, patience and understanding, but I'm well aware these words will go lost on many. That is by all means alright, because there are also those few who it will resonates well with, and life is (or) certainly (be) about finding those people too.