In a loveless marriage

[Unsureslp]

My husband and I have been married for 12 years. I was very young when I married him, probably another one of my dumb mistakes. For a few years now i have felt like I have fallen out of love with him, but basically settled for mediocrity, familiarity, and a stable home for my only son. I have imagined life without him and have fantasized what it would be like to be with a man who appreciates me, shows me he cares, and has the same interests. I have not acted out on this and won't, unless I am divorced.

He is not fundamentally a bad person. We just don't have the same interests. He barely pays attention to me when I talk to him. His idea of fun is the lounging on couch and he only likes one type of cuisine. I love going out, traveling, art, going out to eat and trying different things. He comes from a culture that expects women to be subservient. A culture that expects women to do everything at home with no appreciation or help. I didn't come from that type of culture but have dealt with it over the years. He also comes from a culture that doesn't care for marriage counseling. He never puts me first for anything.

We've spent a year apart before and I enjoyed that year. He didn't like it, and I suspect it's because there was no one there to take care of him. I can't help but think that I'm wasting more years of my life with someone who isn't right for me. I keep wondering if there is someone out there who is truly my match, who will make feel like I'm loving life. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I want to be happy. I don't know, but I'm contemplating divorce. I don't know if this is the right path or if there is something else I should try first.

[No Limit]

Falling out of love when someone doesn't care about you isn't uncommon. You've already been a year seperated and liked it - why haven't you divorced yet? He's unwilling to go to counseling, he's unwilling to overall change - and if he uses his culture as justification it's quite clear it will never happen.