Struggling1 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Hello all, I need some advice pls. I am new to marriage. I have only been married 1 yr but known my husband for 3. After we got married I seen a completely different side of him. More controlling, dominating personality. He doesn't call it that, but that's what I get. He is very old school. I'm more laid back. We are currently separated because we can't stop fighting. We are two different people. We are trying to make compromises so we can make this work but to be honest I feel like he doesn't really care what happens to us anymore. He already told me that he doesn't love me like he used to, but we can work on bringing it back. He waiting for me to make the decision to move back in or not. I don't now if it's just me being paranoid but I get the feeling he really doesn't want me to come back and for some reason wants the divorce to come from me. The only time I see any kind of love or affection from him is when he wants sex. I do love him, but I don't want my love to eventually turn to resentment. We don't have kids, and I'm afraid of having any with him as I'm sure he feels the same way about me. Please any advice would be appreciated! Thank you so much for reading! Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 "We don't have kids, and I am afraid of having any with him . . ." I think that pretty much answers your question! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMyCat Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Hello all, I need some advice pls. I am new to marriage. I have only been married 1 yr but known my husband for 3. After we got married I seen a completely different side of him. More controlling, dominating personality. He doesn't call it that, but that's what I get. He is very old school. I'm more laid back. We are currently separated because we can't stop fighting. We are two different people. We are trying to make compromises so we can make this work but to be honest I feel like he doesn't really care what happens to us anymore. He already told me that he doesn't love me like he used to, but we can work on bringing it back. He waiting for me to make the decision to move back in or not. I don't now if it's just me being paranoid but I get the feeling he really doesn't want me to come back and for some reason wants the divorce to come from me. The only time I see any kind of love or affection from him is when he wants sex. I do love him, but I don't want my love to eventually turn to resentment. We don't have kids, and I'm afraid of having any with him as I'm sure he feels the same way about me. Please any advice would be appreciated! Thank you so much for reading! Your only choices, really, are some serious counseling as a couple, or getting out now. Any husband who tells you he does not love you "like he used to" one year into a marriage is not likely to improve with age. Love changes in a marriage, but usually after many years together. It may seem embarrassing or "flighty" to decide to end a marriage so soon, but better now than after years of misery, and possible children. Link to post Share on other sites
jackslife Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Hello all, I need some advice pls. I am new to marriage. I have only been married 1 yr but known my husband for 3. After we got married I seen a completely different side of him. More controlling, dominating personality. He doesn't call it that, but that's what I get. He is very old school. I'm more laid back. We are currently separated because we can't stop fighting. We are two different people. We are trying to make compromises so we can make this work but to be honest I feel like he doesn't really care what happens to us anymore. He already told me that he doesn't love me like he used to, but we can work on bringing it back. He waiting for me to make the decision to move back in or not. I don't now if it's just me being paranoid but I get the feeling he really doesn't want me to come back and for some reason wants the divorce to come from me. The only time I see any kind of love or affection from him is when he wants sex. I do love him, but I don't want my love to eventually turn to resentment. We don't have kids, and I'm afraid of having any with him as I'm sure he feels the same way about me. Please any advice would be appreciated! Thank you so much for reading! I've highlighted the salient points. You fight all the time and are already separated after only 1 year of marriage. He's told you he doesn't love you like he used to - in other words once the 2 year buzz went he lost interest. You don't have kids and are afraid of having any with him. All after just one year! I disagree about counselling, you're clearly not meant to be together or right for each other. End it now, before children and finances start really forcing you together. Your marriage is over. Divorce, grieve and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Struggling1 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 Thank you all for you advice. We have seen counseling, only couple times though. Didn't really help. I guess I'm really having a hard time giving up so soon on our marriage. I have some hope that things will change and get better between us now that we have had the fear of losing each other. I probably in denial. ugh! Link to post Share on other sites
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