Trouble moving on.

[peace-maker17]

Hi All,

 

I need some advice. In July of 2012 my wife and then 9 month old son walked out the door. Needless to say I was devastated. I couldn't eat or function much at all. On top of that she refused to let me see my son and moved 120 miles away. In our relationship I was pretty controlling, verbally abusive and over the top. Ten days after she left I sought counseling. I did this for two reasons. I wanted help to be able to function and get back on my feet and to make myself a better person understanding my wrongs. I went every week for a few months and then twice a month up until now. It has helped me immensely but I am still having one issue.

 

In regards to our son I get 50/50 parenting time starting in June. I have had 35% parenting time throughout 2013. I am an involved and lovely father. I have had to fight big time in court. My ex refuses to co-parent and is very difficult. She has did some very cruel things to me in regards to my son. Not seeing him on his first birthday was beyond painful is one example. She told me when she left me she didn't want our son growing up the way I did. My dad is over the top, controlling and not a very good person. She told me she loved me but had to leave for my son.

 

I know people say no one can change, blah blah. I have really made an effort to understand my wrongs and become a better person. A year and a half later when we exchange our child she still seems bitter and angry. She doesn't lash out or anything but she is so cold. She hasn't looked me in the eye on an exchange ever. I don't know if she hates me or what the deal is. We were married for 8 years.

 

Here is where I struggle. She probably thought I would just give up my son but I don't know. I am very good at fixing situations and feel horrible I didn't get any chance to mend our marriage, she just left and that was it. I can't fathom each of us spending 50 percent of our time with our son we both love deeply. I know I'll be happy either way. I guess I can't get the thought out of my mind that she might not be happy only seeing our son 50 percent of the time and might want to try to rekindle our life together. She shows no signs of this, why don't I hate her for all she has done to me in regards to our son?

 

She doesn't ever want to talk to me, I've ask to sit down, etc. I have to find a way to move on. I have dated a ton of girls, I always find myself thinking about my ex-wife and how much I miss her.

 

Thanks for any help..

 

Greg

[2.50 a gallon]

You are grasping at non existent straws, still hanging on to the hope of a chance of winning her back.

 

Why?

 

Your marriage was unfixable, she has shown what type of a person she is. Evil and Cruel. Do you really want a life with a person like this.

 

Think of it this way, she is also hurting your son with her actions.

 

Buck up and become the good parent your son can rely on