M30USA Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 My wife has obviously gone NC on me after 5 months of separation. Usually the goal of going NC is to either move on from the relationship OR to get the other person to realize they missed you. But an abusive person isn't the one who should be doing this! They should be the one who is apologetic and, even if the relationship ends, they should make ammends for what they've done. Or maybe I'm asking too much from an abuser. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Yes you are asking too much from her. She isn't going to apologize and you can't expect her to do something she is neither capable or desires to do. What would her apology accomplish? Would you accept it? Believe it? Would she be sincere or doing something to manipulate? Link to post Share on other sites
Deanster Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Welcome to life in Borderline land. Just sayin'. Link to post Share on other sites
Jethro Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Stop trying to explain or control or understand anything your wife does. Things only started getting better for me when I stopped being pissed off by my wifes actions, and realized the only thing that matters is what I do. Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 My wife has obviously gone NC on me after 5 months of separation. Usually the goal of going NC is to either move on from the relationship OR to get the other person to realize they missed you. . there's only one goal in NC and that is to move on. If you do it mostly right (everyone backtracks) then you are 100% guaranteed to move forward and live a better life, anyone who does it "to get someone back" is making a mistake - you are still letting that person control you... Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Ask yourself this question...if she calls today and says she's sorry and wants another chance with you, what would you say? Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Oh dear god, what horrible news, Patty Hearst. Do not blame yourself. You're probably obsessing over the fact that right at this moment she's bitch slapping around some new guy. Can he take a punch better than you? Is he better at crying? Was it the way your bruises healed too fast? You have to let it go. If she truly loved beating you for the right reasons, then she will be back. Link to post Share on other sites
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