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my wife is a meth user


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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Old 14th June 2012, 5:04 PM   #1
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my wife is a meth user

Hello I live in oklahoma and i am the Father of 2 great kids.
Recently my wife and i split up, this has been building up for a while. Basically in the 4 years we've been married and 6 years we've been dating, she has never held down a job for longer than 3 months.

Then i find out she has been using Crystal meth for 6 months (second time this has happened that i know of.) . She neglects our children, seeing them maybe twice a week, even though shes unemployed. Shes hoping from house to house right now, and she has sucked every penny out of my bank account.

Every night she leaves the house at around 7 o' clock PM then does not come home until 7 A.M. She recently also let another meth user drive my NEW 2010 Chevy Trailblazer and they totaled it. Ive tried to work it out with her but she only calls for money. I have no solid proof yet, but im 90% sure shes cheating on me as well.

Its a very odd feeling, like she has 2 lives, one i know nothing about.

What am i to expect in a divorce trial? With all that said, is there an actual chance that i (the father) could get sole custody? Or not have to pay her child support? I have a pre-nup and bought my house and car before we were married.

I have been 100% faithful to her, do not do drugs, and i take care of the kids alone. My routine, every single day is literally, get up, drop kids off at day care, pick kids up from day care, drive home, rinse and repeat. I dont even have friends anymore. I dont know what to do... Im scared if i get a divorce it will ruin my life further. PLEASE HELP!!!!
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Old 14th June 2012, 5:10 PM   #2
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It may not seem like it now but your best life is ahead of you. Probably best to get proof of the drug use so you can get sole custody. Best be rid of her altogether. Good luck.
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Old 14th June 2012, 5:12 PM   #3
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I know you don't want a divorce now, and that you may well not be in a place to view this logically. But you have to, for both you and the kids. Protect them and protect yourself.

Get proof of the drug use. Call the cops on her yourself. File for divorce seeking sole custody. As painful as it is, forget the infidelity. The courts in most states don't care.

Get your ass to Divorce Forum and Child Custody Forum ASAP. Those guys are very good at dealing with custody issues and positioning yourself for the best result.

Protect your kids. Nobody else will.
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Old 14th June 2012, 5:12 PM   #4
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You need to ask a lawyer for legal advice...as awesome as LS is, it's a better support system than it is a source of legal aid. No offense intended...hoping things work out the best they can for you!
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Old 14th June 2012, 5:17 PM   #5
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I agree. You need to consult with an attorney and get some guidance for how to proceed. If your wife is doing meth, you should definitely try to get sole custody unless and until she gets help.
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Old 14th June 2012, 5:19 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ConfusedinOKC View Post
Hello I live in oklahoma and i am the Father of 2 great kids.
Recently my wife and i split up, this has been building up for a while. Basically in the 4 years we've been married and 6 years we've been dating, she has never held down a job for longer than 3 months.

Then i find out she has been using Crystal meth for 6 months (second time this has happened that i know of.) . She neglects our children, seeing them maybe twice a week, even though shes unemployed. Shes hoping from house to house right now, and she has sucked every penny out of my bank account.

Every night she leaves the house at around 7 o' clock PM then does not come home until 7 A.M. She recently also let another meth user drive my NEW 2010 Chevy Trailblazer and they totaled it. Ive tried to work it out with her but she only calls for money. I have no solid proof yet, but im 90% sure shes cheating on me as well.

Its a very odd feeling, like she has 2 lives, one i know nothing about.

What am i to expect in a divorce trial? With all that said, is there an actual chance that i (the father) could get sole custody? Or not have to pay her child support? I have a pre-nup and bought my house and car before we were married.

I have been 100% faithful to her, do not do drugs, and i take care of the kids alone. My routine, every single day is literally, get up, drop kids off at day care, pick kids up from day care, drive home, rinse and repeat. I dont even have friends anymore. I dont know what to do... Im scared if i get a divorce it will ruin my life further. PLEASE HELP!!!!
Your kids would have to really want to live with you and be really vocal about it. Its almost impossible for the father to get full custody, even if the wife is a meth user.
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Old 14th June 2012, 5:22 PM   #7
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Protect your kids, because it doesn't look like anyone else will.

Go for full custody. Whether or not you're successful, you have to at least try.
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Old 14th June 2012, 6:13 PM   #8
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Thank you all for your answers....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Owl View Post
You need to ask a lawyer for legal advice...as awesome as LS is, it's a better support system than it is a source of legal aid. No offense intended...hoping things work out the best they can for you!
No offense taken, i agree i need real legal help, i was just hoping that based on other users experience i could kinda get prepared for what a lawyer may tell me.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiberius View Post
Your kids would have to really want to live with you and be really vocal about it. Its almost impossible for the father to get full custody, even if the wife is a meth user.
This is what im afraid of.... My son cant talk yet, he just turned one, my daughter is 6 years old, and shes so used to her mom not being that even though we dont live together now, my daughter still hasnt asked where mommy is....

Im not saying i wont pay child support. Im just saying, if she did get custody, what can i expect to pay? The last thing i want is half my paycheck gone every payday since i KNOW it will not go to my children. It will go into some crystal meth. IN THAT CASE i might as well stay married to her, not like shes there ever anyway.
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Old 14th June 2012, 7:59 PM   #9
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My brother got custody of three children (all boys); his Xwife was an alcoholic and involved with a creep. My brother went to court and fought like mad for them. I will say I think that it helped a lot that her father told the judge that in her current situation, my brother was the better choice.

The boys, all men now, are very appreciative of his efforts as a dad. They have gotten together and are buying my brother and his wife a vacation get away as a father's day gift.

Best thing he ever did, but it was expensive and hard on him and hard on the boys, but worth it in the short and long run.
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