noirlecroi Posted November 5, 2003 Share Posted November 5, 2003 I got separated in 2000...based on my bad behavior, affairs, substance abuse, etc. She initally wanted to work it out but i wasn't ready.Over the years i have cleaned up my act and this summerwe started to work on our relationship. we have remained extremely intertwined based on coparenting our daughter. Around September things cooled off. and i suspect it is because of feelings she has for another man but arent returned. In event, we find out that she is twelve weeks pregnant....(my child we have been intimate consistently over the years) I had hoped this would be the thing to get us working seriously on getting back together. However, she is always saying things like she will make no promises, and she doesnt want to think about it. tonight i said i didnt think she had feelings for me but that she hoped she did...and she said I was right. pretty cut and dry, right....however, by the end of the conversation, im saying that maybe we should limit contact and she says maybe we should go to marriage counselling. Imconfused as she was pretty clear about saying that she would go to this with no goals. I dont know what to do.......having hope is pretty painful.......and im not clear she is really giving me hope......but feeling like because she is pregnant this is something we should do??? am i rushing her? should i just hang back.......ive been in a pretty emotionallly vunerable position for six months now and i almost feel like if i have to grieve the relationshipi should just get on with it.... Link to post Share on other sites
ArdeaCandidissima Posted November 7, 2003 Share Posted November 7, 2003 Sounds like a painful situation. Probably more so for her than for you. I don't see any harm in going to counselling. Despite what she may say, going to counselling is a sign of at least shreds of hope. If she were ready to put you on the curb, she wouldn't waste time or money on talking about your issues. Something tells me your relationship will need LOTS of work if it is to be reborn as something that works for both of you. You haven't described her feelings, but if she has been enduring your bad behavior for years, she will have a lot bottled up. The pregnancy puts stress on both of you - mostly her of course - and provides time pressure. Perhaps this will be the catalyst that turns you into the solid husband and father that you should be. You will definitely need some outside help to have a chance, so I say, go for the counselling. Link to post Share on other sites
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