Whats next

[amilyah]

Well as you all know if youve been following me,I have been seperated for almost 2 monthsFirst couple of weeks i was a mess,begged and pleaded,called,drove by his house.I didnt eat or sleep.Lost tons of weight(which i need to).Everyone on here told me there was ow,of course i didnt believe them.Then found out there was.. Well now been in nc for about a month and im am feeling way better.I feel like i just dont give a **** anymore.we were together 20 years.Is it possible im really getting over this.I see people on here still not over it for months.I went out new years eve.Met some guys even gave a midnight kiss to one.Just wondering if this is just a phase and im gonna fall hard again one day.

hell 2 weeks ago wanted to call and cuss him out now dont wanna see or talk to him.Just hoping my pain dont come back.I hope this **** is over.Is it really possible to be over someone after 20 years together.Or maybe im just enjoying the attention im getting since ive lost most of my weight.Which i know now i would never take him back anyways(2 weeks ago i would have in a second but not now).What do you guys think

[PWSX3]

I feel being married for 20 years is a long time to be with someone & I also believe you will have your ups & downs. It seems like when I'm down they come back a lot easier. I was married for 28 years & it's been over a year since she left I still once in a while get those feelings of wanting her back or how much easier it would be with her because we did know each other so well.

 

I also believe that getting the attention from others will dull the pain. Each person needs to go thru the process in there own way & I really don't think there is an easy way of doing it. Some will say they got over it very quickly but I really wonder if it will come back to haunt them later in life or in another relationship....

[D-Lish]

20 Years is a long time. There will be good periods and bad periods. You know you're well on your way to recovery when you start to notice the good periods outweigh the bad.

 

I think it's too soon to hope that you are never going to have a backslide, but the more good times you have, the more confidence you will gather.

 

Those nights like new years ever are very important to your recovery. Getting out there and feeling sexy again is great! After a break up like yours, feeling desired again will go a long way to helping you gain more and more control over what you've been though.

 

I lost 50lbs during my separation after finding out my ex H had cheated, I actually made myself sick because I was so emaciated. It's important for you to monitor that you don't let your weight loss get out of control. Get to a weight you are happy with and enjoy it.

 

Just keep doing what you are doing and don't embrace unrealistic expectations about healing - to do so is to set yourself up to fail, because you WILL have bad moments. It's natural though.

[amilyah]

Thank you for your advice.I can tell you i dont think i would have gotten through this without loveshack.As far as my weight im am a t a good weight now i want to lose like 20 more pounds but everyone says id be to skinny.So im trying to stay where i am.I do look and feel better than i have in years.My one problem is my clothes dont fit.And lol cant go out and buy any for he left me with no money.My mom and dad are paying all my bills because he is just an ******* loser.He made the bills but yet im left paying them.Well my mom and dad are.Weird thing though is my ex husband just called,havent heard from him in years,left him for my new husband,why all of a sudden does he call me.Did he hear that im single i dont know.I do know he has always loved me no matter what i did to him.He was an alcoholic and beat us while he was drinking but he says hes sober now.Hes married i told him to call his wife and leave me alone,but he wont,I know while im single hes gonna try.He will leave his wife for me,but i dont want that.says hes on his way over here and **** im ****ing horny what do i do.I dont want to break up his marriage but he said she left him 2 days ago.Help me fast please.I need sex but dont want to be rebound or break up marriage.