Guest Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 Well, following up on a previous thread (see marriage 'How to go forward'), she moved out two weeks ago..... She wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't go to counseling, etc. and was playing the victim in the relationship. She was lying about what I was doing with her to alot of our mutual friends, and it was killing me. Then she came over on Saturday to get her stuff from my house. There was a laptop that she had borrowed from me that she returned. All of a sudden, she grabbed it back and began deleting things. It struck me a bit odd, and stuck in my mind. So monday I was a bit bored, and decided to find out what was deleted. I am a programmer for a living, and can recover deleted files...... So I proceeded to open up her email, and saw TONS of letters to a mutual friend. One started with 'I loved your email this morning, it got me so horny'. You can imagine the rest. We were married in October. Because of job issues, she didn't move in with me until December. She started cheating with a mutual friend in January, and continued it until August. She moved out on Feb 1. So most of my marriage she was lying to me. Worse yet, it is a mutual friend who is married himself. I've confronted her, and she is now devastated. Suddenly, I get several calls a day from her. She wants to go to joint counseling, and I think I will just for closure on this. I don't want her doing this to another guy. I am so destroyed by this it is not funny. I don't know how to feel, and what to do. This is the most horrific experience anybody could possibly have. I just needed to share..... Jim Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 What you found out had to be devastating. This sort of thing, it seems, is becoming more common. Morals have decayed considerably and honesty and loyalty don't seem to be as fashionable as they once were. It's a lot better that you found this out now rather than later. I don't recall your previous post so I don't know a lot of the background but losing a wife and a friend at the same time has got to be difficult. It's important to forgive, for your own sake, and not harbour anger or the desire to seek vengeance. Your friend may have done you a great favor in fereting out the fact that you had a very disloyal wife. It's amazing the things people have learned to do with computers. It makes you wonder what sorts of ways people will come up with to cheat on their partners as time goes on. I'm sorry this happened to you but the tone of your post indicates you have a good head on your shoulders and you will heal. There are a lot of people out there who are trustworthy but you have to continually pay attention to what's going on. Stay busy, eat well, get plenty of rest....and forget the bitch!!! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 as bad as this has all been for you, take comfort in knowing that people who do bad things to those around them usually get a pretty big cosmic kick in the arse for being that way (or, 'what goes around, comes around'). someone once posted on this forum that living well is the best revenge, and I agree with that, too. you sound like a decent person, the kind of guy someone like your wife was dang lucky to get, and she's going to realize what she's lost someday. In the meantime, don't let her actions jade you. There are good women out there who appreciate good men like you. And when you find her, live well -- it'll drive your (soon-to-be) ex nuts!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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