SmartWoman321 Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Maybe you remember me. I have been unfulfilled due to incompatibility in my 18 year marrage for the last 5 years or more. I love him like a brother but thats all. He moved out in Jan. We remain very "buddyish" sinse, exchanging the kids every few days, etc. Both of us in IC. He comes over to mow the lawn- I am very thankful for that- we have a big yard. So we are filing uncontested. Its strange, there have been no confrontations, no fighting, no hard feelings. wow. The 3 kids (ages 12-16) are doing just fine and have accepted the situation. I am excited to start dating again. I am staying in the house because I can pay the mortgage. It took a while for me to convince him how I ffelt, he refused to see. But now he does. This is the best divorce ever! I had an EA a year ago, which really was the turning point in my life and made me realize how it felt to really love someone. The EA man and I remain casual friends, nothing more. No EA anymore. It was the catalyst. Actually, funny thing, I met a man on this forum who lives 300 (more?) miles away and we have become close email buddies and support for each other- and even though I bet if he lived near me, we would be "involved", there is no danger to that. I hope to meet someone like him someday whom I can date. :-) But for now, I have grown confident in being "alone"- although I am certainly lonely from time to time. This is the true example of a great divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Considering the totality, you're very fortunate. I hope things proceed smoothly. Divorce without rancor is such a godsend for the children, too. Best wishes! P.S.- Offer to hire a gardener to replace hubby's efforts. He will appreciate that Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmartWoman321 Posted August 7, 2008 Author Share Posted August 7, 2008 actually I DID tell him that I would do the lawn from now on quite a while ago, he says he wants to do it---this house is a financial investment for him, of which he will get half the proceeds when I sell it in 10 years or less- so he is interested in helping me with the upkeep. Plus, we care about each other and are genuinely interested in helping each other out. When you truely live like brother/sister for many years of your marriage, then the split/divorce comes so much easier, because nothing really changes except you don't live together! So, if you think you live like roommates, instead of husband and wife- like I see many posters have written, ask yourself if you would have the same sibling-type relationship if you actually split up or divorced. If the answeer is yes (like mine was), then you know that you are TRUELY living like roommates. If the answer is no, then perhaps you are not as room-mate-ish as you think you are. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Yeah, and I know I won't be doing my roommate's lawn when she moves into her new house, not with two other properties to manage Probably the lawn thing is just one minor example of why your divorce was amicable and why you likely wish nothing but good things and happiness for your stbx. He's a good guy (and you likewise) who just was incompatible for this specific romantic relationship. I hope I can have that kind of maturity if we D .... Link to post Share on other sites
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