yongyong Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 my girlfriend got divorced with her husband about 6 months ago they see each other every week due to her daughter ex husband found out she was going out someone and got mad. she had to sign the agreement that says she will deposit $50,000 in her daughters account (only she can withdraw when she grows up) if she wants to live with me or gets married...... she doesn't have $50,000 in cash. she wants to sell the house so she can take care of that but I don't know how long it will take to sell the house (bad market) I am just fcucking annoyed why we are under her stupid husband's control. is this kind of agreement enforceable? I don't know what the judge will say about this Link to post Share on other sites
Arise_Serpentor Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 thats a pretty dumb agreement! Is anything signed! How long has the agreement been in place?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 she had to sign the agreement that says she will deposit $50,000 in her daughters account Actually, she must have chosen to sign it. If she HAD to (was under duress or threat of physical harm), then my understanding is that she'd be able to get it voided with little hassle other than the process itself, and cost/fees. But. Regardless of your understanding of how it happened, she needs to see a lawyer as soon as possible. As an aside, whatever agreements she does choose to make with her ex are outside the domain of your relationship with her. Whether or not you perceive them as reasonable or unreasonable is of no consequence. In any case, in this particular instance, it is her daughter who will ultimately benefit, so I'm not too clear as to your annoyance. (I agree that it's unreasonable, all the more so if she has to sell her house to fulfill...but if it is that she just caved in to his pressure, control or manipulation...that's not an excuse for her signing an unreasonable agreement.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author yongyong Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 I think her house is on both names and she could lose the house if she didn't want to sign it her daughter will benefit it but if she has to get a loan to make a deposit how dumb is that? (plus lots of stress) In U.S, most divorce fight is very generous to woman but in this case, I don't see any of it (she could lose house, she is not getting child support etc) I kind of understand this loser's mind cuz I will be living in a house that he used to live in with his ex-wife. I want to confront this guy but I think it will make it worse or fight can happen. Link to post Share on other sites
troubadour Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 yongyong, your story does not make too much sense... but even assuming that it is as you are saying... it is still none of your business what kind of agreement they have. It has nothing to do with you. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I think her house is on both names and she could lose the house if she didn't want to sign it her daughter will benefit it but if she has to get a loan to make a deposit how dumb is that? (plus lots of stress) In U.S, most divorce fight is very generous to woman but in this case, I don't see any of it (she could lose house, she is not getting child support etc) I kind of understand this loser's mind cuz I will be living in a house that he used to live in with his ex-wife. I want to confront this guy but I think it will make it worse or fight can happen. This whole things sounds really strange and that is making me very suspicious. They own a house together (which you are now living in and banging his ex wife) and in order for her to keep the house she has to "buy out" her EX. And she is doing this by giving the money for their daughter? Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 ...When you divorce you can put in clauses in the divorce decree of serveral things. I have seen one that no parent shall have any member of the opposite sex over nights while they have the kids over. Which is reasonable given that your just divorced, you dont want to mess the kids up more than what they already are. Let me ask you a question you said she was your girlfriend of 6 months and she was just recently divorced along this time frame where did you come into the picture, was you an OM? because if that's the case I can see why the husband is so vengeful. Divorces take a long time and for you to come into the picture right near the end is very suspect unless they was seperated for a long time. What are the circumstances of the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 They own a house together ... and in order for her to keep the house she has to "buy out" her EX. Oh...NOW it all makes sense - thanks lovelorcet I also don't understand the reason 'why' he would be okay with having his share go directly to their daughter, but I kind of like that he's not just "grubbing the money" -- nice dad, really. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 In U.S, most divorce fight is very generous to woman but in this case, I don't see any of it (she could lose house, she is not getting child support etc) I don't think that is necessarily true. I got divorced and didn't get what I was entitled to. I didn't fight anything. I really didn't care. I just wanted to be rid of him. I would have paid any amount to be single again. Link to post Share on other sites
troubadour Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 yongyong, you can call her ex-husband a loser and stupid but... it looks that after all you are not going to live in his house with her like you thought you would... and you know that her ex-husband is still her#1, don't you? So maybe next time you should not call anyone a loser and stupid... expecially that you look quite stupid now. Just a friendly advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yongyong Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 one of the reason we keep fighting is because of that stupid money and he broke her heart very bad. I think she doesn't trust what I say to her " I will be with you " things like that yongyong, you can call her ex-husband a loser and stupid but... it looks that after all you are not going to live in his house with her like you thought you would... and you know that her ex-husband is still her#1, don't you? So maybe next time you should not call anyone a loser and stupid... expecially that you look quite stupid now. Just a friendly advice. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 After some thought, I really dont think it's ALL that unreasonable. If he's allowing her to live in their house, rent free, half of his money is invested in that house. So his money is tied up in a house that he is not gaining any monetary benefit from and probably has his own expenses to take care of. He's willing to part with that investment for the sake of his ex-wife and child, but I dont see why YOU should benefit from HIS share of the investment. If YOU want to live in THEIR house rent free, you should put some kind of stake into it. The fact that he's not asking to be compensated personally, and instead wants their child to be the one who benefits from the situation shows a lot about his character. But I dont know all the ins and outs of their situation. But if SHE agreed to those terms then mind your own business. They've only been divorced for 6 months. I'm not sure when you entered the picture, but if your relationship is less than 6 months, you really dont have any right to butt into her business. 6 months is definitely WAY to short of a time for you to be dictating to her what she does with her finances. You might not even be with her in a year from now. IF you love her as you claim, then why dont YOU pay the 50k? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 one of the reason we keep fighting is because of that stupid money Money is NOT "stupid", all by itself - it just makes PEOPLE do stupid things. That you feel as if you have a right to have any say about someone else's money, isn't smart. That you are fighting over something in which you have no legal or ethical standing isn't smart, either. Smart would be the choice to just stop fighting over her and her ex's and their daughter's money. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 After some thought, I really dont think it's ALL that unreasonable. If he's allowing her to live in their house, rent free, half of his money is invested in that house. So his money is tied up in a house that he is not gaining any monetary benefit from and probably has his own expenses to take care of. He's willing to part with that investment for the sake of his ex-wife and child, but I dont see why YOU should benefit from HIS share of the investment. If YOU want to live in THEIR house rent free, you should put some kind of stake into it. The fact that he's not asking to be compensated personally, and instead wants their child to be the one who benefits from the situation shows a lot about his character. But I dont know all the ins and outs of their situation. But if SHE agreed to those terms then mind your own business. They've only been divorced for 6 months. I'm not sure when you entered the picture, but if your relationship is less than 6 months, you really dont have any right to butt into her business. 6 months is definitely WAY to short of a time for you to be dictating to her what she does with her finances. You might not even be with her in a year from now. IF you love her as you claim, then why dont YOU pay the 50k? I really have to agree, all in all it sounds like the OP is the one whining because he is losing a housing free ride and you can't really blame the Ex for taking what is his. To the OP, one could really suggest that you should be paying rent on the 50k he still is missing... Link to post Share on other sites
TrustInYourself Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Is this a post by the OM/OW bitching about money that has nothing to do with them? Hah. Peace out! Link to post Share on other sites
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