rogmac75 Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 I don't know what to do, and my life just seems to be getting worse and worse. I got married in 1999, to a woman I met on the net. Now we dated for a LONG time before we got married, but we moved in together quickly, and the problems began right away. It's been a roller coaster of infidelity, nastiness, fighting (emotional and physical) and lately, I just don't feel like I am in love anymore. She has never really held a job...I have always made the money and been told that it was basically my place to do so. She does NOTHING around the house, so I get to go to work, come home, clean, take care of the bills, drive her around, etc. I have put her through school for the last 2 years thanks to a lucrative profession. Recently I got sick, and couldn't continue in my job, and am now looking for a new one. I have no support...she is refusing to work, and expects me to continue handling it all. I can't have it all on me anymore. I am regularly verbally abused...called names that I wont even type here, and told that I am less than adequate at things. I am not in any way perfect...I feed into it, and we fight pretty much daily. I think I want out, but I'm not sure. We have done the counseling thing and it has never worked. I guess what I need to know is, of those of you who have made that jump, what finally made you decide to do it?
scubafish Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 rogmac, take a little time to read through some of the posts here, and in coping section. You sound like you know what you need to do, you are being taken advantage of, and need to be reminded that life is too short to spend it with someone who does not make you happy. she sounds like a big mooch, she should be ever so grateful that you helped her through schooling, yet she is not helping you now?
PWSX3 Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 My co-worker was married to someone that sounds a lot like your situation. He put her thru school, they had a kid & he took care of him while she was out doing the party thing. He finally told her to grow up or move out, she didn't do either so he kicked her out. I think he said that was 9 years ago, he is remarried, has a good family and as for his X she can't hold down a job or wants to, finds guys that will take care of her for a while until they get tired of her, has been in jail a few times and hasn't done anything with the schooling he provided her with. Some people just don't get it and some just don't want to be responsible. You are the only one that can decide if this is the type of life you want to live. Sounds like she isn't welling to help out which to me is telling you she doesn't plan on putting the effort out to help. Good luck!
amaysngrace Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 I had had enough of mediocrity, if it even constituted mediocrity, in my marriage and knew I owed it to myself to leave. I knew for a long time in my heart that I wanted out. I knew I was unhappy and wished for a better life. But wishing doesn't get the job done...action does. So after being treated like dogmeat by a man who failed to appreciate me for years, one incident finally made me start making my hopes of a better life a reality. It happened when I stopped thinking about leaving and started planning to leave. Personally, my first move was to retain an attorney. This way I knew what I was doing was actually things I was able to do within the law. In order to leave you need to shift your thinking into action. Figure out what needs to be done and do it. Once you make up your mind to do so, ain't nothing in the world gonna change that mind of yours. You'll be fueled by hope instead of stuck in despair. The thing is, make a move. Action baby. Put the gears in motion. I can almost promise you you'll be glad you did.
Gunny376 Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 She's a parasite! Dump her! She'll slowly suck the life,dignity, self-respect, out of you!
MoonGirl Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 Agreed. I left my very verbally abusive (sometimes physicially abusive) husband 5 weeks ago and have never been happier. Is it scary to make the first move? Hell yes. But facing fear of the unknown is worth it to have a more sane, stable, and HAPPY life. Like Amayngrace said, it's all about putting thoughts into actions.
Guest XYZ Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 When the pain of staying outweighs the pain of leaving.
MoonGirl Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 When the pain of staying outweighs the pain of leaving. This is SO true. For me, my life became almost unbearable at home with my husband.... it was time to go.
Recommended Posts